Mindful Woman
by Sarah K. Sloan, LCSW
Working in academia can periodically provide space for a summer of reading, planning, and rest. This summer, I made the choice of a lighter workload and set a self-care goal. I already had an ongoing meditation practice, but my goal for the summer was to increase the time that I spent meditating and to include daily practices of gratitude and self-compassion.
My meditation instructions have always been brief: sit every morning for 20 minutes, connect to my breath, and when my mind goes away to distractions (which are normal), to gently and non-judgmentally return to the breath. Logistically, I use a timer app, of which there are many, and I often meditate with my wife. My intention in cultivating mindfulness is to increase being awake, alive, and present in my life and in my relationships.
Mindfulness has been an interest of mine for the past 14 years, and I have engaged with it personally and professionally in my work as a clinical social worker. Lutz and colleagues discovered in their 2008 research, Regulation of the Neural Circuitry of Emotion by Compassion Meditation: Effects of Meditative Expertise, that brief meditation can influence areas in the brain involved in “regulating attention, awareness, and emotion.” This excites me on many levels and encourages my exploration of how to use this in my clinical social work practice and in my own life.
Self-compassion is also an expanding area of research, and one of the leaders of this research is Dr. Kristin Neff. I recommend her website at http://self-compassion.org/ for more information and practice exercises. It is through this site that I found an exercise, Self-Compassion Break, that I have attempted to incorporate when needed. It includes three connected exercises to build self-compassion.
First, you, the practitioner, acknowledge what is happening in your thoughts, emotions, and body and name it (“This is stress.” “This is suffering.”). Second, you recognize “suffering is a part of life” (“I am not alone.” “Other people feel this way.”). Finally, you then extend kindness and self- compassion to yourself (“May I give myself the compassion I need.” “May I learn to accept myself as I am.”). This is done as a meditation and encourages you to place your hand over your heart as you extend kindness to yourself. It is helpful, always available, and interrupts the potential, and reality, for the barrage of judgment and critical self-talk that we can all fall into.
So how did it go? I did not always meet my daily meditation goal (maybe that’s why I decided to include the self-compassion practice piece?), but I did meet this intention more frequently than usual. My practice of gratitude, which is to connect to what I am thankful for after each meditation session, significantly changed my perspective, especially when I was caught in a cycle of dissatisfaction. Finally, the Self-Compassion Break reminded me to extend the same generosity I extend as a helper, every day, to myself.
Sarah K. Sloan is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Austin, TX, specializing in work with LGBTQ adults and couples counseling. She is currently a clinical assistant professor at the University of Texas School of Social Work. She also has a private practice that includes supervision, training, and consultation.