Prioritize Organize Partialize
by Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, LMFT, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
Do you struggle with staying motivated for self-care? Most of us do! At times, we need to (re)focus our approach. One such approach is POP: Prioritize, Organize, and Partialize.
Prioritize
A basic requirement of successful self-care is to prioritize! We must prioritize what is most important (i.e., one’s values) and prioritize a commitment to self-care.
A significant impediment to self-care is value dissonance. When our daily lives do not reflect our core values or life’s desires, we experience extreme stress. As Brené Brown (2010) observed: “Incongruent living is exhausting” (p. 28). Brown described her family’s reflective process of coming up with a “joy and meaning” list by asking, “When things are going really well in our family, what does it look like?” (p. 102). Then, they set out on a process to prioritize those aspects—such as time to cook, rest, play, serve, and just be together. I came across a similar exercise on social media that advises these amusing and effective steps:
- Make a list of what makes you happy.
- Make a list of what you do daily.
- Adjust accordingly.
Organize
Value prioritization means committing to self-care through organizing around our priorities. Pragmatically, this organizing means planning. Intentional habits, such as scheduling self-care commitments, promote congruence of values with daily behaviors. For example, yoga and my daily walks are among the first items on my daily “to do” lists and calendar commitments. Likewise, because I value relationships, I prioritize and schedule time to be with dear ones. These commitments do NOT just happen; they require prioritizing.
Do you find yourself saying “Yes” too much—which means, by default, you say “No” to some things you value most? Be prepared! Here is a simple strategy:
- Acknowledge the importance of the request.
- Empathize with the person.
- Assert that you “have another commitment.”
- Offer an alternative (optional).
- Stop talking! 😊 That is, we do not have to explain a commitment to our priorities.
Partialize
This prioritization might sound a bit overwhelming. Begin with partializing the steps involved in these big life goals! What are smaller steps? For example, in a self-care reflection, “Laura” realized that music was a joyful part of her life with her daughter, so she instituted “sing-a-longs” in their daily commutes. In another example, look at your “to do” list, and pick one item to delete or delegate. Then, instead, choose something that fits with your “joy and meaning” list—which may be taking a nap!
Charles Duhigg (2016) explained that motivation is promoted when we have a sense of control and choice. Partializing a big goal or commitment gives us that sense of control and choice. Also, he asserted that motivation becomes easier when we “see our choices as affirmations of our deeper values and goals” (p. 272).
Self-care: POP to it! And, let’s share other ideas and strategies! Let me know your suggestions and if you want to write a guest post.
Peace, Love, and Self-Care,
Erlene
References
Brown, B. (2015). Rising strong: The reckoning. The rumble. The revolution. New York, NY: Spiegel & Grau.
Duhigg, C. (2016). Smarter, faster, better: The secrets of being productive in life and business. New York, NY: Random House.
Dr. Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, LMFT, MSW, MRE is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!