by Jay Thomas, LMSW
Photo credit: BigStockPhoto/digitalista
Self-determination is one of the most empowering and frustrating concepts in social work. On one hand, it’s the foundation of everything we do—respecting our clients’ right to make their own choices is non-negotiable. On the other, it’s incredibly hard to watch someone with immense potential get in their own way.
As social workers, we’ve all been there. You meet a client with talent, charisma, or incredible resilience, and all you can think is, “If only they would change this one habit, they’d be unstoppable!” But it’s not our job to steer their ship. Self-determination isn’t just an idea; it’s an ethical mandate.
The NASW Code of Ethics is clear:
Social workers respect and promote the right of clients to self-determination and assist clients in their efforts to identify and clarify their goals. (NASW, 2021)
That doesn’t mean we sit back and do nothing. It means we find ways to empower clients to take the wheel, while respecting their journey—even if it looks different from what we envisioned for them.
Why Self-Determination Matters
Self-determination isn’t just a social work principle; it’s a core part of human motivation. Self-Determination Theory (SDT) (Ryan & Deci, 2017) explains why people thrive when their basic psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness are met. These needs are the building blocks of motivation and well-being.
Here’s the catch: When these needs are supported, people are more likely to make meaningful, healthy choices. But when these needs are thwarted—by external pressures, trauma, or systemic barriers—people often make decisions that seem self-defeating. That’s where we come in.
Real-World Scenarios: Balancing Guidance with Respect
Let’s look at two scenarios that every social worker can relate to.
Scenario 1: The Superstar Who Can’t Get Out of His Own Way
Marcus is 26 and wildly talented. He could be selling out arenas with his voice. But instead, he spends his nights drinking and his days recovering. He has big dreams, but his actions don’t align with his goals. Every time you meet, he says, “I’m working on it.”
So, what do you do?
- Use Motivational Interviewing (MI): MI is a client-centered approach that helps clients explore their ambivalence about change. Ask open-ended questions, such as, “What’s holding you back from pursuing your music full time?” or “What would success look like for you?”
- Explore Barriers: Marcus may not realize how unresolved trauma or low self-efficacy (his belief in his ability to succeed) is holding him back. Help him connect the dots without judgment.
- Offer Small Wins: Suggest practical steps that feel manageable. For example, “What if you started by setting aside one hour a day for music?”
Ultimately, Marcus has to decide if he’s ready to change. But your role is to create a space where he feels supported, not pressured.
Scenario 2: The Philosopher Who’s Already Living Her Best Life
Lisa is 40 and left a six-figure corporate job to work part time at a bookstore. Her family is furious. “She’s wasting her potential!” they say. But Lisa is thriving—she’s happier than she’s been in years.
How do you navigate this situation?
- Understand Her Values: SDT emphasizes intrinsic motivation—Lisa’s choice aligns with her values of peace and simplicity. Help her articulate this to herself and her family.
- Advocate for Autonomy: Explain to her family that success looks different for everyone. Lisa’s choice doesn’t diminish her worth; it honors her well-being.
- Reframe the Narrative: Shift the focus from what Lisa gave up to what she gained: freedom, happiness, and alignment with her authentic self.
As social workers, part of our job is to help clients—and their loved ones—redefine success in a way that fits their unique journey.
Practical Tips for Supporting Self-Determination
Self-determination isn’t always easy to navigate, but here are five practical strategies you can use in your practice.
- Ask, Don’t Tell: Instead of giving advice, ask clients what they think will work. For example, “What options feel most realistic to you right now?”
- Normalize Ambivalence: Change is hard, and clients may feel stuck. Let them know it’s okay to feel unsure.
- Break It Down: Help clients set small, achievable goals that build confidence over time.
- Reflect, Don’t Direct: Use reflective listening to show empathy and understanding. For example, “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed, but you still care about moving forward.”
- Honor Cultural Differences: Recognize that self-determination looks different across cultures. Be mindful of how systemic barriers, family expectations, and cultural values shape your client’s decisions.
The Mirror Test: Are You in Your Own Way?
Here’s the hard truth: self-determination isn’t just about your clients. It’s about you, too.
When was the last time you looked in the mirror and asked yourself, “Am I standing in my own way?” Are you holding on to habits or beliefs that no longer serve you? Are you pursuing goals that truly align with your values?
Nobody’s going to swoop in and fix your life for you. If you’re not where you want to be, take ownership. Reflect, reframe, and take small steps toward the life you want.
Final Thoughts
Self-determination is messy, frustrating, and beautiful. It’s about giving people—including yourself—the freedom to make mistakes, take risks, and ultimately, shine in their own way.
As social workers, we have the privilege of walking alongside our clients on their journeys. Let’s honor their right to self-determination, even when it challenges us. And let’s remember to apply that same principle to our own lives.
References & Resources
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self-determination in human behavior. Springer Science & Business Media.
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The “what” and “why” of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268.
National Association of Social Workers (NASW). (2021). Code of ethics of the National Association of Social Workers. NASW Press.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2017). Self-determination theory: Basic psychological needs in motivation, development, and wellness. Guilford Publications.
Vansteenkiste, M., Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2020). Self-determination theory and basic psychological needs: An agenda for future research. Advances in Motivation Science, 7, 111–156.
Jay Thomas, LMSW, is a combat veteran, social worker, mental health professional, and author passionate about resilience, self-determination, and helping people step into their full potential. He is the author of Resilience: Rising From the Ashes of Adversity and Forgiveness and Resilience: A Guide for Active-Duty, Veterans, Reservists, National Guard, Military Retirees, and Families. Jay combines personal experience and professional insight to inspire others to live authentically.