VITAL TOPICS: SOCIAL WORK & FILM
by SaraKay Smullens, MSW, LCSW, DCSW, CGP, CFLE, BCD
Before I write a word about the 2025 exceedingly unsettling satirical comedy, The Roses, a remake of the 1989 film, War of the Roses, based on the 1981 novel of the same name, I must say how grateful I am that the marriage counselor consulted by the film’s protagonists is not portrayed as a social worker. You would have to go a long, long way to find a more poorly trained, clueless, and misdirected mental health professional. Whew!
Of course, the therapist, Janice (Belinda Bromilow) cannot help herself—her words are written for her. This reality established, since any specific discussion about the plot of this film will lead to spoilers, I offer this for your concentration: Think about two highly successful, kind, talented people you care deeply for who marry, and have children—and then a domino of life upheavals hits hard, throwing their established societal roles and finances in complete disarray. Their story is then presented to viewers in the most exaggerated satire.
This analogy established, back to the one and only marriage counseling session of Theo (Benedict Cumberbatch), an out of the box, uncompromising architect, and his wife Ivy Rose (Olivia Colman), a talented aspiring chef. Ivy and Theo are two Brits who fall madly, devotedly, supportively in love, marry, have twin children, Hattie (Hala Finley, Delaney Quinn as young Hattie ) and Roy (Wells Rappaport, Ollie Robinson as young Roy), and 10 years later leave their London home to settle in artistic, compelling Mendocino, California—pricey, but not to be confused with the more exclusive Montecito, where Prince Harry and his wife Meghan moved, joining Oprah Winfrey, Jennifer Aniston, Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, and other media royalty.
Ostensibly, before the session, Janice has assigned Theo and Ivy questions to reflect on. The couple respond to their assignment with furious, dangerous barbs toward each other that are as shockingly ugly as they are hilarious, having the time of their lives as they do so, their joy enhanced as they observe their marriage counselor’s confusion, shock, and displeasure. Rather than confronting this behavior, helping her clients see what is motivating their hate-filled joy, Janice terminates the session, offers no referral, and ushers Theo and Ivy to her front door, enhancing the couple’s glee.
There are few actors as gifted as Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman. Their roles in The Roses offer an opportunity to understand how two who truly love can easily, without patience, introspection, and self-awareness, grow to believe they hate each other. Life can dish out merciless, unsettling, painful jolts, often one on top of the other, making it far easier to turn on and blame each other than to maturely confront harsh realities together.
Yes, poor clinical work is integral to continuing the plot’s angst and humor. But let’s continue the fun by veering in a different direction. If Janice were not part of the film’s intended unsettling combo of hilarity and pain, she would have conducted herself far differently, offering questions and statements like the following during their session:
I see you are having a wonderful time insulting each other and trying to shock me. What the hell is going on?
Look, I’m a trained therapist, and any trained therapist will know that your insults, where no one gets up, and no one leaves the room or office, are an indication of your connection. It is clear that you once felt love for each other. What happened? Start from the beginning and help me understand what has gone so very wrong. And why.
What you have told me makes me sad. And if it makes me sad, I can only begin to imagine the sadness you are covering with your attacks on each other.
I’m listening closely to your determination to keep your home and can’t help but wonder if a big part of this reason is to hold on to a symbol of your love and connection—all you have built together. Could this persistence be a sign of an intimacy problem, fighting to hold on to a symbol, rather than saying “I love you”?
I’m grateful that you have shared, as now we can truly begin our work. What goals are important to you? The choice is yours. Do you want your marriage to end, or do you want to rebuild?
There are primary differences between The Roses and the earlier 1989 War of the Roses, starring Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas as the married couple, Barbara and Oliver, and Danny DeVito as their divorce lawyer. The time settings are different, but even more important, the circumstances leading to Barbara and Oliver’s estrangement begin soon after their marriage, which is not the case with Theo and Ivy.
Another difference is that as the film reaches culmination, it becomes clear that Oliver begins to understand the pain and loneliness he has inflicted on Barbara, how he has taken her for granted, and how much he loves her. But for Barbara, his awareness is too little, too late. As for Ivy and Theo, their love is camouflaged but never destroyed. In my experience, when mutual love is there at the beginning of a commitment, it can always be rediscovered and built upon, if time permits.
A few final thoughts, as you decide whether to take precious time to view The Roses: Some undoubtedly will find the film’s spiteful humor not to their liking, even unbearable. But, of course, social workers know that, regardless of how unsettling, this quality of humor is a defense against pain, loneliness, and longing.
If you decide to view The Roses, you’ll be gifted with beautiful scenery. But you will not be seeing Mendocino, California, or any American locations. Director Jay Roach chose Devon, England, which offers extraordinary light and scenery, as a stand-in for Northern California, transforming the British coastline into a film replica of Mendocino’s magnificent shoreline. Some scenes were also shot in England’s Pinewood Studios, located in the village of Iver Heath. And the clothing choices of the protagonists, especially Colman, are pure delight.
Although each is remarkably talented, the chemistry between Andy Samberg (Barry) and Kate McKinnon (Amy) as the Roses’ closest friends misses the mark. This said, whenever possible, McKinnon deserves an enormous shout-out for her unforgettable rendition of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” on Saturday Night Live as Hillary Clinton after the 2016 presidential election. Samberg as Theo’s lawyer offers comic relief, and Allison Janney as Ivy’s lawyer lives up to her golden reputation.
Also, perhaps as a double feature, if you decide to visit or revisit 1989’s The War of the Roses, you may not know that Douglas and Turner, excellent in their roles, trained tirelessly for many of their physical stunts without doubles. Each succeeded incredibly, especially Turner, who had no double as she swung from a chandelier in the final moments of the film.
Would you say there are times when swinging from a chandelier is a metaphor for what it takes to make a marriage succeed? If so, I agree with you.
SaraKay Smullens' (MSW, LCSW, BCD) best selling book Burnout and Self-Care in Social Work, Edition 2 (NASW Press, 2021) grew from her researched award winning article in The New Social Worker, “What I Wish I Had Known.” SaraKay has worked with women enduring domestic violence for more than 30 years, which led to her identification of invisible cycles of emotional abuse, always part of sexual and physical violence, but deserving their own codification. In 1995, with the support of the Philadelphia District Attorney’s office, she initiated the Sabbath of Domestic Peace Coalition, a diverse, multicultural bonding of religious leaders, the domestic violence community, social workers, physicians, attorneys, volunteers, and law enforcement officials who identified clergy as "a missing link" in addressing the complexities of the virulent epidemic of domestic violence, which prayer alone could not solve. The Coalition held trainings for clergy and parishioners throughout Philadelphia and surrounding areas. Its yearly non-denominational prayer service was attended by hundreds. After several years, the SDP Coalition was able to disband as individual faith communities and houses of worship incorporated their mission.
Updated September 30, 2025.