Photo credit BigStockPhoto Ruth Black
by Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
This post is a companion to my previous post, “It’s the Little Things.” When everything feels big and overwhelming, it’s important to attend to small self-care strategies. Mini-habits, gratitude practice, and noticing are three exponentially effective ways to engage self-care in little ways. Here, I add pronoia, glimmers, and sprinkles as three complementary small strategies with significant impact.
Integrate Pronoia and Glimmers
Likely, you know the meaning of paranoia, but do you know its opposite, Pronoia? Paranoia is believing the Universe is conspiring to harm you; pronoia is believing the Universe is working to help you. As research documents, the phenomenon of negativity bias means we tend to focus on the negative, unless we make concerted efforts to change that tendency. Research also finds that because of neuroplasticity, our brains can adapt and change.
Making small shifts toward choosing pronoia is a powerful self-care strategy. One year, I chose “pronoia” as my word-of-the-year. This intentional focus affected my perspective in significant ways. Gratitude practice is one way to shift our thinking and choose a pronoia perspective.
Like pronoia, glimmers is a term that counters an emphasis on the negative. The term “triggers” is commonly known; it’s the phenomenon of a stimulus—words, images, experiences--evoking a painful memory, feeling, or sensation. When triggered, our nervous system dysregulates and we experience distress.
In contrast, glimmers are stimuli that help our nervous system relax and regulate. Deb Dana, LCSW, coined the term “glimmers” to describe small micro-moments of beauty, joy, pleasure—e.g., gorgeous sunsets, cheerful birdsong, aromatic meals. Whilst not denying the intensity of triggers, glimmers counter their impact by offering balance. Cheryl Strayed advises, “Put yourself in the path of beauty.” By extension, our self-care needs to include putting ourselves in the path of glimmers. Noticing is an essential aspect of receiving glimmers on our path.
How can you practice pronoia today? Where do you notice glimmers in your life?
Sprinkle Self-Care
Sprinkles and glimmers are similar. Both are elements intertwined with our daily lives. However, glimmers occur in our daily lives; we must train ourselves to notice them. In contrast (and complementarily), we must intentionally intersperse sprinkles in our environments and routines.
My partner and I sprinkle self-care through attention to home-making. We curate our home with art and mementos from our travels, treasured gifts, and grandkids’ creations. Consistently, we experience beauty, pleasure, and inspiration; we’re reminded of wonderful experiences, core commitments, and meaningful connections. Plants sprinkled throughout our home bring many self-care benefits. And, definitively, the sprinkling (some would say tsunami) of books never fails to brighten my day. Our home offices are sprinkled with motivational and uplifting décor, as well as functional and fun items. Likewise, we sprinkle self-care in our daily routines. For example, Larry begins the day with coffee in his favorite Grandpa mug. When I drive my 2000 Honda, the familiar rattles remind me of my self-care commitment to non-consumerism.
“Jenny” sprinkles self-care by habitually playing online scrabble with family, which can “give perspective on a rough day.” Connecting with loved ones having a difficult time is part of her sprinkles, because it “means a lot.” Our senses play an important role in self-care sprinkles. “Maggie” routinely makes batches of soup: “tasting homemade soup, even from the freezer, seems like a self-care gift.” She intentionally integrates amateur bird-watching, porch-sitting (bonus, if a swing and refreshing drink are involved!), and appreciating the sprouting of spring bulbs gifted from a friend’s grandmother’s garden.
“Lara” sprinkles self-care through music—“singing along to Bon Jovi Radio at the top of my lungs!” Similarly, she volunteers for fun stuff at work, such as “doing silly hologram recordings, karaoke ‘I will Survive’ on caffeine and social justice.” She also sprinkles accountability. Recently, when she told her partner she was overworked and was skipping the gym, he reminded her of their commitment to their health. Similarly, “Terry” sprinkles self-care in daily interactions by habitually pausing to breathe and genuinely greet co-workers and ask how they’re doing. He’s also intentional about using a greeting, closing, gratitude, and celebration in emails—not just requests and requirements. Intentional connections sprinkle self-care into all our interactions.
How can/do you sprinkle self-care?
Small Self-Care Adds Up
Maybe you’re thinking: Well, this is all glimmer-y, sprinkle-y, and pronoia-y, but have you heard we’re losing the planet and fascism is rising and…?! Yes! I’ve heard and I’m actively engaged in stopping those big horrors! No, these small self-care facets aren’t a magical fix.
Yet, I know from decades of experience and observation, these small self-care commitments replenish us for staying in the arena. Building small self-care habits, which includes noticing glimmers; choosing pronoia, which includes practicing gratitude; and intentionally sprinkling self-care provides essentials for nurturing, strengthening, and sustaining. They’re not niceties superfluous to our mission; they are necessities central to it!
Choose pronoia, notice glimmers, and sprinkle self-care liberally!
Peace, Love, and Self-Care, Erlene
Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!