Photo credit BigStockPhoto Maria Marganingsih
by Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
“To be a social worker is to choose people over comfort, and service over self.”
The above statement was posted recently on social media by a social work entity with a significant following. I’m not identifying the organization, because, regrettably, it’s not unusual in promoting these kinds of messages. Both subtly and blatantly, these messages are insidiously common in our social work profession—and other helping professions.
Toxic Messages Thrive in Helping Professions
I was startled when I read this sentiment! Particularly because I’ve arduously dedicated almost two decades to a mission of promoting practitioner well-being, I’m distressed that these beliefs persist, in multiple forms. Similar sentiments include: Social workers are to be selfless heroes. Self-care is selfish. Social workers care about the outcome not the income. Choose mission over money. These messages thrive in helping professions, in part, because we are mission-driven, compassion-focused, and service-oriented.
Too often, organizations take advantage of these qualities and values. Employees are convinced to take on more and more, with less compensation and at greater cost to their well-being. We’re told—and internalize the messages!—that we must go above and beyond for the patients, students, clients, causes. We fall into need complex and savior syndrome. These are the kinds of toxic messages that significantly contribute to burnout, and worse.
Counter the Toxicity
Because these toxic messages are so persistent and insidious, we must be intentional and diligent in resisting them. Much of this blog forum’s content is an effort to counter these harmful messages. For instance, self-care is not selfish; it’s self-full. It’s both/and, not self-care OR community care/organizational wellness. Emphatically, we promote that we must NOT buy into self-care myths.
We do NOT choose people over comfort. We choose to attend to our own well-being as part of our competence as practitioners and compassion for our own personhood. We do NOT choose service over self. We learn that self-care is essential in providing effective and ethical service. Please, use this blog repository as a catalog of ideas for countering toxicity.
Resist and Reframe
I want to focus on a particularly important strategy we can incorporate: When we encounter these messages—whether explicitly or implicitly—let’s intentionally reframe them as a signal to check in with ourselves about our self-care and resist the messages. Here’s what I mean.
When I posted in social media and talked with colleagues about the “choose people over comfort and service over self” message, the echoing response was resounding. My colleague Tara Coffing underscored the dangers of this toxic messaging, based on her own journey of wholistic self-care. Then, Tara declared, “Oh, this reminds me to put in my request for time off!” What a wonderful reframe! Will you join Tara and me in this strategy? What are some other ways we can resist and reframe? This Should Shonda versus Self-Care Shonda post might spark some ideas.
Also, in response to my social media post, another colleague, Dr. Donia Addison, who has done extensive work (both in terms of her own journey and contributing to the profession) in the area of self-care, said she makes self-care a team mindset. (Check out one of her guest blog posts, on self-care basics.) My colleague and frequent co-author, Dr. Mindy Eaves, reminded me that an organization’s toxic messaging during times of crisis can serve as an opportunity to be especially attentive to one’s own self-care.
My colleagues’ responses highlight the importance of resisting and reframing in our micro, mezzo, macro, and meta contexts. In addition to our own self-care, we must work to create an organizational culture and insist on a professional ethos that actively counters these toxic messages. For example, instead of always rewarding employees for going above and beyond, acknowledge those who sustain and succeed through life balance. Not only is that the right, humane approach, those kinds of reframes contribute to retention of staff and better services.
“…choose people over comfort and service over self.” NO!
When we hear these messages in any forum, speak up (including self-talk!), take action, and actively counter them. Let’s commit ourselves—individually and collectively—to resist and reframe. Let’s choose self-care AND service. And, YES, both our sustained, successful self-care and service will benefit exponentially.
Peace, Love, & Self-Care,
Erlene
Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!