Going for the MSW, Mom Style
by Valerie R. Maloof, MPhil
Last September, I returned to graduate school 20 years, a husband, and two children after completing my last degree. Putting two decades between degrees afforded me plenty of time to consider what I truly wanted to be when I grew up, and the actual process of growing up - that messy, non-linear trajectory life takes - kept pointing me toward social work.
Once I got into the MSW program, excitement quickly gave way to the realities of becoming a “non-traditional” student. I realized I wouldn’t be able to work as many hours as I originally had hoped, which meant there would be both a reduction in income and loss of our healthcare coverage alongside the expense of the program. I wondered how I would balance caring for my family, working, logging in hours at my internship, and completing the school workload. At 11, my daughters are quite independent, but I was concerned I would not be available enough as they navigate the constantly shifting emotional demands of middle school. It was easy to find reasons to talk myself out of pursuing a career change, but I decided I’d done that long enough and decided to go for it instead.
From day one, I felt right at home with the social work tribe. My fellow MSW students, most of whom are in their mid-20s, are intelligent, thoughtful, driven, and incredibly tolerant of my mom-isms. I now have confidence, which I lacked in my 20s; the decades have made me comfortable with not knowing and unafraid of asking. Knowing that I am in the right field and moving toward the kind of work I always wanted to do has been invigorating. While the workload is constant and leaves me no free time, the reading, thinking, writing, and practical learning are nothing short of joyous. Advocating for Spanish-speaking immigrants and refugees at my internship is where I excel and belong.
But just as I have loved the experience of working toward becoming a therapist, I have also felt intense guilt over the limited amount of time I’ve had for my family over the last semester. Finding balance for the four of us has not been easy, and it continues to be an ever-changing effort in which we grow, figure out where we could do better, and grow again. I’ve figured out being flexible and letting go of “we’ve always done it this way” may just be the single most important thing I master when it comes to being present for my family while working on my MSW.
On the last day of classes, a snow day that started out as stressful turned out to be a wonderful experience, as my girls got to attend classes with me. Heading home afterward, my daughter reminded me that attitude has a lot to do with successfully navigating challenges in general. “College is easy, Mom,” she said. “All you guys have to do is talk about feelings and write papers. You don’t need to worry about it.” She’s right, of course.
Valerie R. Maloof, MPhil, is an MSW candidate at the University of Michigan School of Social Work. Valerie was born in Peru and raised in Costa Rica and the United States. Before pursuing a career in social work, she worked in policy, public relations, and human resources. After completing the MSW, she plans to work as a therapist serving the Spanish-speaking immigrant and refugee community focusing on cultural adjustment, trauma, and immigration. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her family, writing, and teaching yoga.