My Sister and I: Connected by Social Work

by Silas W. Kelly, LMSW

     On January 7, 2019, my sister, Nancy M. Brimfield, one month shy of her 77^th birthday, lost a courageous battle to cancer. She was the oldest of eight siblings. I, being the youngest of those eight siblings, always felt a special connection to her. That connection was forged through years of separation, thanks to the profession of social work. Our family was separated in Brooklyn, NY, when I was two years old. I only grew up with Paul Kelly, the youngest of my older siblings, in a foster home in Amityville, NY. The rest of the Kellys grew up in an orphanage. But we were always kept abreast of family happenings by Nancy. She always knew where we were, because the profession of social work truly understands the “Importance of Human Relationships.”

     In the early years of separation, I remember fondly that every Christmas, without fail, we would each get a Christmas card from Nancy with $5.00 in it. That used to thrill me to no end.  In later years, she would take the time to send Paul and me newspaper clippings and pictures of family events. Nancy always shared the good and bad news. We knew when siblings excelled in college sports, had a brush with the law, and when they went into the service. She was the glue that kept the family together from the beginning.

     She helped all of us in one way or another when the need arose.  As the oldest sibling, she was always there for everyone in the family who needed help. When any of the brothers needed a place to stay, Nancy’s door was always open. She raised her daughter and her nephew, buried her husband, and took care of our mother during her last days many years ago. Many of these life events happened for her during a 10-year period, and I watched with amazement as she went back to school off and on until she completed her bachelor’s in psychology requirements. She graduated in 1991 with honors.

     Her tireless efforts inspired me to go back to school to get my degree. She offered me a place to stay to help me out when I was living in Bayshore, NY, and commuting to Brooklyn College every day.  She came to all my special events like college graduations, award ceremonies, and my wedding. She also came to see me during one of my darkest times when I was in bad shape. 

     One of the most memorable things she taught me, however, was the importance of family and being there for each other. I took that lesson from Nancy and I applied it as much as I could within our scattered family.  I will always remember her for her selfless devotion to all of us. She truly demonstrated the “importance of human relations” throughout her entire life. That is a gift that will keep on giving.

     Thank you, Nancy Mae Brimfield. May you rest in peace.

Silas W. Kelly, LMSW. is proud to identify as a professional social worker. His goal is to always uplift and promote the profession in his role as an "E-Journalism Social Work Advocate."