Sit Down. I Can Do It On My Own. Amplifying the Voices of Older Adults

by Makieya Kamara, MSW, MNL, LCSW

      I once showed a video on the loss of autonomy for older adults in a group of volunteers ages 55+.  After viewing, I sat silently, awaiting their thoughts. One by one, they came. A woman said her doctor never listens. Another relayed how after a minor accident, she was told living alone was dangerous. Her belongings were given away, and she was moved in with her daughter. Yet another talked about her adult children who discouraged her from volunteering in a classroom because the students would be “too much to handle.”  With each story came nods, grunts, and “Yes!” affirmations from the group. I understood and empathized, but I hadn’t always seen it that way. 

     I began my position four years ago managing the ABCD Foster Grandparents Program.  Almost a year in, a few of my volunteers agreed to assemble care packages for children as a service project. There was a woman in her late 80s, the matriarch of the group, who participated. She was well known and respected by the community. I needed to set up and monitor our supplies, and yet I dropped everything to help her whenever she moved. I assumed she needed me, and by helping her, I was showing the utmost respect for my elder.  When I tripped over a pallet for the third time trying to run to her aid, she turned and said, “I don’t need your help. I can do it myself.”

     This was the first of many moments when I recognized the flaws in how I viewed older adults and how deeply those are ingrained in society. Over the years, I’ve had many opportunities to learn from social workers, direct care workers, and most importantly, older adults about what loss of voice and agency looks like. And they tell me - discriminating policies by state and federal agencies, health care workers who assume they can’t make their own decisions, and lack of or poor accessibility options. They hear comments in meetings, the supermarket, the bus stop, or even a casual Uber ride.

     I like to ask new interns or staff to think about a few things: A form with writing in 11 point Times New Roman (or any Serif) font. A building without a ramp or working elevator. The speaker who gives a presentation and says “I’m not going to use the mic because I have a loud voice.”  The meeting room chairs with wheels attached to the legs. These are all real-life examples that seem simple but can serve as barriers. They limit what older adults can access - health services, information, and resources. They can also be a deterrent to try.

     My volunteers often look to and trust my program to be their advocates. They’ve empowered me to look for these things and speak up in their absence. And when I’m in their presence, I no longer assume I know what’s best for them because “they’re old.”  I wait. And I listen for and amplify their voice.

Makieya Kamara, MSW, MNL, LCSW, is the program manager for the ABCD Foster Grandparents Program. She shifted to the field of aging after 10 years with adolescents in congregate care, college students, and young adults. Intergenerational relationships and spaces are her jam because the learning never ends.