The Most Essential Night

by Kelly Anne Smith, MSW, LCSW

     I was 23 years old, a newly minted master's prepared licensed social worker. Standing in the ambulance bay at a near West Side hospital in Chicago, I was unknowingly moments from receiving my first patient. Of all scenarios I envisioned occurring during my first night on the job, I did not expect this. A 23-year-old, just like me. Gunshot victim. I can remember accompanying the physician to the family waiting room. I can remember the way the patient’s mother’s face changed. I wish I could say I was ready for this, that my training kicked in and I was able to provide crisis intervention at a moment’s notice in the face of tragic grief. I did not precisely know my role, or even what came next. I did get warm blankets. I did hold hands. I did scour the city for a priest to come to the bedside at 1 a.m. I did burn his name in my memory. I told myself not to forget this night – his mother’s eyes. I called my own mother at 3 a.m. crying, fearing that I had chosen the wrong profession. She told me that as the mother of a 23-year-old herself, she would be devastated to lose me to gun violence. She would need a warm blanket, a hand to hold, someone to get a priest, and someone to remember my name. It helped me to eventually realize that I was right where I was supposed to be.

     Social work is a calling, from whatever source gives you life, light, or guidance. It is a knowing that you are here for a purpose. It is finding spaces in your soul to hold pain for people who cannot bear another moment of it. It is holding space that is safe and sound, sometimes even just for a moment, to let someone rest in your gaze before they have to look back at a world on fire.

     I did not do everything right that night. I did not have all of the right words, or the knowledge that sometimes there are no words at all. As a nod to Maya Angelou, I know that his family will likely not remember what I said, but I hope they felt important, validated, seen, and cared for. I will always remember my introduction to social work through the strength and grief of a beautiful family of Chicagoans and the son that they lost that night. I will always remember that his ending marked my beginning, and well over a decade later, I carry him with me daily.

     The Most Essential Thing I Want Social Workers To Know is, your moment may not manifest as mine did. It may be more transient or more remarkable, but a time will certainly arrive when you know this is the work you were meant for. Our country is embarking on the journey of collectively waking up to the issues that have plagued underrepresented communities for years. In droves, folks are aligning with the values of social justice and equity that have been the longstanding pillars of the social work profession. Social work is the definition of essential personified: absolutely necessary; extremely important. If you’re a social worker standing in an ER, in an elementary school, a foster care agency, a police department, or a protest, keep going. The whole world needs you.

Kelly Anne Smith, MSW, LCSW, is currently the Director of Health Social Work at the University Of Illinois Hospital & Health Sciences System. Kelly Anne’s professional background is in medical social work in Chicago hospital systems, where she gained the clinical expertise that she utilizes daily in her leadership role.