Having Difficult But Necessary Conversations With Your Social Work Field Instructor

by Tawanda Hubbard, MSW, DSW, LCSW

     As a field professor, I often have students come to me because they feel some anxiety about having difficult conversations with their field supervisors. I understand and validate that it can feel challenging, but it is necessary to define and take responsibility for this shared relationship you are developing with your field supervisor.  

    In our profession, you will be tasked to have different kinds of conversations with persons in client status, colleagues, supervisors, and individuals you will come to supervise one day.  When we decide to become social workers and embark on our journeys, we commit to a mission to help people, and we don’t think about the part of the process that includes having difficult conversations. These are conversations you will have around safety of children, medication compliance, court mandates, loss of loved ones, sudden illness, termination, trauma, and policy issues. The list goes on.

    These conversations may not feel pleasant or comfortable, but they are necessary to assist others in reaching their goals. But it is hard to do with our clients what we cannot do for ourselves. Another way to say it is that we will not take our clients where we have not gone. As a social work student, learning to have some of these different kinds of conversations and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable is a part of your process of becoming an effective, competent and supportive social worker.  

    This is your time, while you are in school receiving guidance and support, to develop this skill of having and navigating difficult conversations. It may feel as though you are taking a risk and creating a feeling of vulnerability, but there is no gain without risk, and you are worth the investment. As fellow social worker Brené Brown puts it, “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”

    I am aware that the thought of speaking up for one’s self, asserting boundaries, setting limits, asking for clarification, and the biggest one of all—asking for feedback—can feel intimidating in a relationship where you are in the intern role. But you are asking for what you need: help, clarification, and feedback. These are ways you practice active learning, self-care, and build confidence as you develop into the social worker you dreamed of becoming.

    You may be thinking, easier said than done, but we know things that are worthwhile are not always easy. It’s all about how you think about it and the approach you take. I believe you can say just about anything—it’s how and when you say it.  

    I offer some thoughts and suggestions below that you may find helpful in having and navigating difficult conversations with your supervisor and doing your part in establishing a productive relationship to meet your educational needs. It starts with shifting your mindset from a “subordinate attitude,” which we are taught to have in many cultures within our society in relationships with others who hold an authority position (Williams, 2013).  

    You bring experience, talents, and strengths to your role as an intern, and you must learn to trust your judgment and instincts as you learn to be a social worker. The relationship with your field supervisor is not a one-way, but a two-way relationship. It requires you to co-lead, be engaged, and be actively involved. You are not just the receiver, but the architect of the relationship and your learning experience in field.

    Here are some ideas to consider and keep on your mental landscape as you prepare and engage in these necessary conversations:

• Create your focus—be clear on your purpose and outcome you want to achieve from the talk with your supervisor prior to initiating the conversation.
• Think ahead about what you will be asking for, how you make your requests, and when and where to do so.
• Develop your talking points.
• Don’t focus on personality, but issues and behaviors.
• An oldie but goodie, use “I” statements.
• Deliver your message in a manner your supervisor can receive. This requires respect and professionalism in your delivery. It’s not the conversation where you are venting and emoting. Have and process your reactions first, so you are clear when you initiate the conversation.
• Be mindful of how you are coming across—your tone of voice, volume, word choice, body language, and facial expressions. It’s always good to practice in the mirror, rehearse what you are going to say ahead of time, and role play with a trusted partner.
• If something is stated that you need time to think about and/or do not want to react to, it’s okay to say, “Can I have some time to think about what was discussed and get back to you?”
• If you misspeak, it’s okay to acknowledge it and say you would like to rephrase what you just stated or start over.
• Recognize there are different communication styles. Know and articulate yours.  
• Ask your supervisor about communication style, including conflict resolution and problem-solving approaches. Give yourself time to learn and work with your supervisor’s communication and leadership style.
• Be careful not to compare your new supervisor with old supervisors. Each supervisor may have a different style—if you are open, you can learn from everyone.  
• Recognizing differences in communication styles, leadership, and approaches doesn’t mean there is a problem. It just means you will have to be intentional—self and other aware. Use your emotional and social intelligence skills. Utilize your problem solving and conflict resolution skills.  
• Supervisors have three main functions: administrative, supportive, and educational. Take time to learn your supervisors’ style and strengths. Also remember that supervisors are human, and no one is perfect.
• Ask your supervisors about their experience with interns in the past. What are their expectations for you as an intern and your supervisory relationship? This is the time you share your expectations for the placement, supervisor, and the relationship. You can clarify and ask questions to ensure everyone walks away with realistic expectations.
• Know the best way you learn and be able to articulate your learning style to your supervisor.
• Think about how you prefer to receive feedback: in private, with suggestions, and so forth.
• Be able to take feedback—in a non-defensive and non-reactive manner. Remember, feedback is just information. It’s not a personal attack. You utilize the information to build your skills and develop as a social worker.
• Know it’s a part of your supervisor’s job to challenge you. There is no growth without challenge.
• Don’t be embarrassed if you don’t know something. You are there to learn.
• Be intentional about being compassionate to yourself and your supervisor as you are both figuring this out.
• Your supervisor is on your side.
• If self-doubt or critical thinking creeps in, don’t just go with it. Question it and test whether it is valid. It may be countertransference.  
• It’s okay to share where you may be struggling.
• Ask for guidance and help as needed. Your supervisor, professors, and school are all there to support you.
• Remember, you are not expected to leave your field experience with the same level of mastery as your field supervisor. You are on your own journey and developmental path.

    Keep in mind that the focus is on you developing as a social worker and building skills. If you make a mistake, it is not a reflection of your self-worth. You are learning, and you need to speak on your behalf. Just think, you cannot take clients where you have not gone. You must learn to practice from a strengths-based and empowered position in your own life in these types of relationships.

    This is your education, and you want to get the best out of your field experience!

Reference

Williams, K. (2013). Field placement—What students need from their field supervisors: A student’s perspective. The New Social Worker, 20. (3), 6.

Tawanda Hubbard, MSW, DSW, LCSW, is a social work educator and practitioner. She holds a faculty position at Monmouth University School of Social Work. Dr. Hubbard is a licensed clinical social worker with more than 15 years of experience in child welfare, behavioral health, adolescent and family therapy, case management, and clinical practice. She currently provides family and individual therapy as a private practitioner, certified child sexual abuse therapist, part-time lecturer at Rutgers University School of Social Work, and trains DCP&P child protection workers as part of New Jersey Child Welfare Training Partnership. Dr. Hubbard is the current president of the National Association of Social Workers, New Jersey Chapter.