My Truth in Child Protection Social Work: Know Who You Are
by Michele L. Sneed, MSW, LGSW
After many years working within the child protection system, it was time for a change. I had put my heart and soul into a career that was, at times, heartbreaking, thankless, and depressing. Yet, at times, I was able to see glimpses of hope, love, and appreciation. I wasn't easily able to reflect upon what I had experienced until I had been out of the field for a period of time.
The start of my career in child protection was daunting. There was so much to learn around agency, federal, and state policy. There was the earth shattering realization that terrible things happen to great people every day and children were sometimes mistreated by the people they loved the most. It's sometimes hard to come to terms with this reality. I also quickly realized that people can change, people don't want or ask for a life of pain, and people sometimes need help. Relationships were quickly realized as a key component of the social work world, and sometimes those relationships that people have with those closest to them are not positive or healthy. Not to mention, probably the biggest uphill battle was learning about myself.
Knowing who you are in the child protection field is not a suggestion - it’s a must. That doesn’t mean that we all come into the field with these wonderful reflective skills and know exactly who we are and why, but it means that whether we like it or not, we begin the journey. You see, you can’t just go into child protection and not learn things about yourself. It’s a field where you question humanity at times. You get angry at people, sad with people, frustrated with people, happy with people, and that can happen all in one day! It’s a fast paced adventure!
I had many days as a child protection worker when I questioned why I did this work. I questioned why anyone in their right mind would subject themselves to being screamed at and berated by people you truly wanted the best for on any given day. I questioned why someone would want to work long hours, answer calls in the middle of the night, put your own family on hold to help those that were in crisis with little to gain on the receiving end, or so I thought.
As I packed up my cubicle on my last day on the job and put all of the tokens and pictures that people had sent me in a box, I started to reflect on why I did this work and did it a lot longer than most. For me, being a child protection social worker was not just a “job.” It was a passion, and it was who I was. It wasn’t because I was great at all of things that the job entailed or was a model employee, but rather that I truly cared for and believed in the people I was working with. The clients who had addiction issues and had spent a lifetime not believing in themselves were now parents and needed someone to believe in them and show it. That was my job. It was my job to tell the child who was being hurt that their parents did love them, and although they couldn’t live with them at the time, that I would walk alongside their mom and dad through the journey, because the family system was worth it and reunification was the ultimate goal. Yes, the ugly part of that story is sometimes that didn’t happen, and you have to be honest about that, but sometimes it did.
What do you learn about yourself from all of those experiences? You learn that you are stronger than you think and that everyone has a story that is worth listening to. You learn that people are resilient, and even though they may not have changed during that short period you worked with them, there is still a chance. You know this because two years later you get a voicemail message that thanks you for doing what you did, even though they weren’t ready for change at the time. You learn that some of the best relationships are made at times when you are terminating a parent’s rights, because the parents know that deep down you are not the one that made that decision, they are.
You learn that you are not going to win them all and that’s okay, but you hope you have started a thought in a person’s mind. You learn that on those days when you don’t feel like you can take any more, you can and you do. You learn that your family is so special, because they understand or at least try to because they know who you are and what the job means to you, so they don’t hold working lots of hours against you or wonder why you are taking someone else’s child to an event when you can’t take them. They just get it and they make sacrifices for you.
There are years of stories I could tell with countless recollections of interactions that have forever changed me. As I close that period in my career and open a new chapter, I am thankful for every experience that I shared with the families I worked alongside. I am humbled that in their most vulnerable time, families allowed me to be part of their journey. It was through this journey that I discovered the career path chosen was a passion and not a job.
Michele L. Sneed, MSW, LGSW, spent many years working in the area of child welfare and holds a master's degree from the University of New England. She is currently pursuing her doctoral degree and is employed as a site coordinator/assistant professor at The College of St. Scholastica.