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No, I’m Not OK, Mom. But I Will Be Once I Hit My Refresh Button.

One kid's response to coping during COVID-19

by Martha Rodriguez, LCSW

     I left my home for the first time in weeks. Sounds crazy, right? But the fear I experience at the thought of contracting a virus that has killed thousands has me feeling paralyzed. I quickly realize I need to get a hold of myself, right, but how?  As I look on to the back of my vehicle, I catch my child gazing at the sky. What is she thinking? Her eyes teary and body resting against the window. Is she also in this state of disbelief? I asked: Are you OK, baby? She answered, “No, I am not OK, Mommy, but I will be once I hit my Refresh Button.”

     Refresh Button? Yeah, Mommy, when I start to get sad, thinking about things now, I just push my Refresh Button. Well, how do you do that, I asked, and can you help me find my Refresh Button?

     Sure, Mommy, this is what you do.

  1. First, find your Refresh Button. Mine is my belly button! Push the button, Mom, she screams! She immediately begins to smile.
  2. Next, think of one thing that makes you happy, Mommy. For me, that is my family, God, and my video games, of course! Just now, I thought of the jelly glazed donut you are going to get me!
  3. Mom, now do one silly thing or try a new thing every day. Like yesterday, I tried pickles! They were gross! But think of one thing new you can try tomorrow and share it with your friends, too!
  4. One last thing, Mom. Before I go to bed, I remind myself things will be OK! I miss my friends and school a lot, but I always remember what my teacher told me last year. “Be brave and think happy thoughts.” My teacher said that even when we fail a test or are sad and worried about things; if we are brave and think happy thoughts, we will be OK.
  5. Mom, that’s how I use my Refresh BUTTON! You should do it, Mom. I taught my friends, and we all push our buttons before we get out of bed or when we feel sad, miss each other, or just want to start over!

     Wow! I thought to myself, kids can develop some fun coping mechanisms. They really can get through this and have the power to support each other. As I reflected on this experience, I thought of all the conversations around children struggling during this time. I wondered, "Are we providing them with simple direct tools they can use?" This Refresh Button sounds like an excellent tool for parents, educators, and even adults. It does not have to be so involved. Simply find that button, press it, think of one thing that makes you happy, set a goal to try something silly or new every day, and before going to bed, remember to “be brave and think happy thoughts.” Families need simple tools and resources to address coping - often, we struggle finding tangible tools.

     Yet, we must also be mindful of children who may be struggling and need further support. Therefore, I encourage parents and caretakers to be vigilant; and look for any changes in normal behaviors or patterns. The CDC provides helpful information for families on helping children cope during coronavirus. They also outline suggestions on talking with your children about the COVID-19 outbreak. It is also really important to keep in mind that all children are different. Thus, the signs and symptoms of mental illness they show may be different and even hard for us to identify.

     I hope this Refresh Button can serve as a fun, simple strategy/tool to help children navigate this difficult time.

Refresh Button Instructions

  1. Find your Refresh Button. Examples: belly button, nose
  2. Press your Refresh Button. (It does not work if you don’t press it.)
  3. Think of one thing that makes you happy.
  4. Try one silly or new thing.
  5. Before you go to bed, remember to "be brave and think happy thoughts."

     Do not forget to Press Your Refresh Button as often as you may need to!

Martha Rodriguez, LCSW, received her MSW from the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Rodriguez has more than 15 years of experience in both private and public sectors. She previously served as the Service Manager in Recovery at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, facilitating the delivery of mental health services. Currently, her role is Mental Health and Social Work Consultant for the Student Services Project at the University of South Florida.

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