Book Review: Things I Got Wrong So You Don’t Have To

     Things I Got Wrong So You Don’t Have To reads like a cross between a book of daily affirmations and a memoir. Because the author concludes the introduction to the book with an invitation to the reader to tweet her and signs it, “Love, Pooky,” I feel emboldened to refer to her by her first name. Pooky, who has a PhD in Child and Adolescent Mental Health from Kings College, London, is an accomplished educator and author who has written a book that feels like a conversation with a wise yet humble friend. She openly and honestly shares her own experiences with mental illness, grief and loss, imposter syndrome and anxiety, and the need for rest in a manner that feels like a cool drink of water on a hot day. This book is filled with encouragement without an ounce of admonishment.

     The book is delivered in a set of 48 Lessons arranged in seven sections: Lessons in Learning, Self-Acceptance, Self-Care, Life Online, Death and Dying, Living with Anxiety, and Love and Friendship. Pooky introduces each lesson with a brief recounting of What I got wrong in the past followed by the story of how she came to think differently about the matter in The lesson and the teacher. She provides a brief account of her current approach in What I do now and her future hopes with Looking ahead. Each lesson closes with three Things you could try for the reader’s self-reflection. A free downloadable version of Things you could try is available for those who “don’t like to write on books.” Lessons are three to six pages in length.

     Although I read the book from front to back, readers are encouraged to begin with whatever lesson catches their attention.  Some of my favorite lessons include: Talk to yourself as you’d talk to your dog, Don’t compare your bloopers to other people’s highlights, “No” is a complete sentence, and Treasure the friend who climbs in the hole with you. I anticipate returning to this book again and again whenever I need a quick affirmation, a bit of perspective, or help getting out of a self-imposed funk. This book could be used in supervision, therapy, or group study, but trust and authenticity are prerequisite. It would make a great gift for beginning and seasoned practitioners alike.

     If you are looking for an academic book of theory and scientific evidence, keep looking. If your soul needs a hug or you are looking to become a better version of yourself, buy a copy of Things I Got Wrong So You Don’t Have To.

Reviewed by Rhonda Peterson Dealey, DSW, LSCSW, Associate Professor and MSW Program Director, Washburn University, Topeka, KS.