Self-Care A-Z: Learning to Befriend My Nervous System Using the Anchor of Awe

Photo credit: BigStockPhoto/maverick888

by Jennifer Francis-Gehring, LCSW

When the pandemic began, I was venturing down the rabbit hole of polyvagal theory. My journey into polyvagal theory cultivates self-care practices that embody safety and connection. I’m learning to honor my nervous system and befriend its whispers and sighs of contentment, frustration, and transition. I’m learning to become curious about feelings and sensations that show up in moments of regulation and dysregulation. I’m learning how my nervous system interprets cues of safety or danger, moment to moment.

Discovering Awe as Anchor

I’m discovering how I can move toward safety and connection, when the world seems scary and overwhelming, through encountering awe. We embody awe when we’re present, centered in wonder.

The first time I remember experiencing awe, I was a little girl gazing into a night sky. Closing my eyes, I recall: Feeling tiny in the vast universe. Breathing in fresh fall air. Settling in my body—comfortable, content, safe. The bazillion stars I saw with childlike wonderment still evoke awe today.

I use this memory as an anchor. In polyvagal theory, anchors help our nervous system experience safety and connection. Visualizing, I lean into the memory and my senses – feeling cool air rush through my sinuses; seeing my hot breath exhale; hearing a quiet country evening chorus; smelling crisp autumn. Transported to being that awestruck little girl, I connect to safety.

Embodying Awe in Healing

Another pivotal experience of awe happened in 2014, while visiting Sedona, Arizona. For context, in 2013, lifesaving surgery gifted me the ability to continue walking and freed me from excruciating pain. I felt gratitude and vulnerability, simultaneously, which was very confusing.

I panicked, hearing my doctor say, “You’ll never be able to do ___ again.” Internally, I collapsed into the ways my body had betrayed and failed me. Now, I know my nervous system detected danger and felt threatened by prolonged illness, medical trauma, and my own interpretation of loss. I lost physical embodiment of independence or capability. Dissociation became my life raft, while my nervous system kept me safe and alive during that time.

Experiencing Sedona’s landscape was an opportunity to heal and re-connect. While learning to accept limitations and listen to my body, I reclaimed embodiment of autonomy, interdependence, and worthiness. My body was still capable of climbing mountains and hiking to the top of a vortex; I just had to learn new ways of doing so.

Sedona is an entire experience of awe through the polyvagal theory lens. I recall vivid imagery, anchors, and glimmers rooted in ventral vagal. I feel embodiment of safety and connection, remembering the slow mountain climb—resting, breathing, speaking compassionately to myself along the way. In awe of my body and the mountains, embodiment of safety and connection return. As I lie atop a vortex, healing energy swirls within.

Rooting in Awe as Connection

I use these awe anchors in moments of dysregulation, when my nervous system detects threat or danger, to regulate my nervous system. In Sedona, I regained trust in my body and myself. I began moving my nervous system toward safety and connection. My paradigm shifted from a stuck dorsal vagal space of “I can’t do this. I might hurt my body” to a flowing ventral vagal state of “I can do scary things in safe ways that allow my body new ways of movement.”

I visited the Grand Canyon while in Sedona. I stood on the rim, gazing for miles—noticing nooks and crannies, dips and dives, rocks and river. Awestruck, I watched the Colorado River traversing the Canyon on her terms—at her speed—in safe ways that created slow, steady, gentle rhythms. And, in raging fierceness, crashing against the canyon walls. Everything I was experiencing—the strength and resiliency of water, finding flow and ferocity, creating space and beauty—was a metaphor for our nervous system’s magnificent function of movement. Ebbing and flowing—in and out of ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal states—it constantly keeps our bodies safe and alive.

Today, I’m rooting in awe, staying curious about my ever-evolving journey, befriending my nervous system, and finding moments of safety and connection that embody divine essence within. I invite you to consider this awesome aspect of your self-care. How can you experience awe?

Resources on Polyvagal Theory

Jennifer Francis-Gehring, LCSW, works in Owensboro KY, providing therapy to survivors of sexual harm. Jennifer enjoys learning about polyvagal theory, creating anything that brings joy, spending time with her family and fur babies, befriending her nervous system, and finding ways to enjoy a fulfilling life full of adventure and laughter.