My Self-Care Epiphany - How a Personal Crisis Woke Me Up

by Audrey Morrison, MSW, RSW

     Put your own oxygen mask on first, I tell my clients. Self care is not selfish, I tell my clients.  But I was not practicing what I was preaching, and like many other social workers, it took a personal crisis for me to wake up and smell the coffee.

     2016 was a write-off for me. Not because of the election. Not because of the death of Prince, David Bowie, and many others, but rather because of a personal health crisis.

     I spent the first quarter of the year in bed, off work, and on massive doses of opioids and anti-inflammatories in an effort to combat chronic back pain from ruptured disks and other betrayals by my body. I will spare you the gory details. Suffice it to say, my self-care (meager as it was) went out the window, and I was mentally in a very deep, dark place.

     My surgery proved a turning point, however, and I was given a new lease on life. I was determined to seize every opportunity with both hands. I started by really reflecting on things that appeal to me or bring me joy and that I would physically be able to do. It was time to make myself an official self-care plan. It had to be one that I was invested in and that I could start during my recovery.

     In drafting my self-care plan, my criteria were pretty simple. I needed things I could incorporate into a busy day and that did not involve me going back out in the evenings after I had come home from work. After drafting a list of interests, I decided on this: an exercise regime of treadmill and stretching for my back, adult coloring, knitting, going for hourly walks up the stairs and around the high school where I work, doing batch cooking on Sundays, leaving for work fifteen minutes ahead of my regular time, changing the radio station from news to  acoustic music, signing up for an online course for professional development (ACT), and purchasing The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. These goals were realistic, empowering, and sustainable.

     Each of these items was simple enough, but as I implemented them, I found they had unexpected benefits. Indulge me as I explain myself.

• My home treadmill routine has allowed me to take time for me, whereby I strengthen my core muscles while listening to relaxing music or an inspiring TED talk. 
• My hourly walks around the school mean I get off my backside (sitting is the new smoking from a health standpoint), and I encounter students and staff in the hallways.  The walks give me the opportunity to smile and socially engage with people I might not otherwise see. I also get to see and interact with students with whom I work in their social milieu.
• Coloring allows me to nurture some creativity and zone out from everything else for at least 10 minutes. The last time I went to visit my grandchildren a few provinces away from me, I was able to sit and color and chat with my 5-year-old granddaughter. She brought up things with me that we would not have otherwise discussed (important things like her belief that boys wouldn’t love girls with short hair).
• Knitting has been like learning a new language for me, and at times, I felt it might be easier to learn Latin! For one and a half hours after work each week, I am carving time for myself while learning a new skill. Because I do this in a group, I am meeting new people, which is challenging for the introvert in me. My simple scarf has been ripped out many times, and I’m okay with that. My goal was not to make a scarf; it was to do something different and enjoyable. Perhaps it will be ready for next winter.
• My batch cooking marathons mean I don’t have to face coming home after work to prepare a meal from scratch. I hadn’t realized how much that was stressing me out until I started batch cooking.
• Leaving for work early allows me to indulge in a little mindfulness. I love to take photos. Now, along the way to work, if I see something that looks beautiful in the morning sun, I have time to stop to appreciate it and snap a few photos.
• Acoustic music allows me to keep relaxed, and I arrive at my destination feeling refreshed. I am not an ostrich, though, and I ensure that I look at daily news summaries to keep myself up-to-date on current events.
• My course in ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) was useful to me on a personal and professional level, and the course itself was something I looked forward to every week. I have always enjoyed being a life-long learner, and to that end, I am signing up for another ACT course that speaks to applying the principles with teens and children.
• I continue to meet with five other social workers about every six weeks for brunch. We loosely call this a book club, although that is never the focus of our group.  Members may or may not have read the assigned book. We spend about five minutes discussing the book (which is entirely recreational reading) and the rest of our time chatting and laughing. 
• Last, but certainly not least the A-to-Z handbook was a great investment. The chapters are brief, so I could read one nightly, plus it reinforced for me that everyone’s self-care is different. It can be simple and easily incorporated into an otherwise hectic day.

     It sounds like a lot, but in reality, it is not.  Everything fits well with my schedule and leaves me feeling revitalized. For the first time in my life, I am doing what nourishes my soul, and it feels great!

References

Grise-Owens, E., Miller, J., & Eaves, M. (2016). The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. Harrisburg, PA: The New Social Worker Press. 

Audrey Morrison, MSW, RSW, holds a master of social work degree. She works as a school social worker and has a private online practice.