Self-Care A-Z: Helpers Being Human - Self-Care in Times of Stress and Crisis

by Ashley Owen Santangelo, LMSW, CPCC

May is National Mental Health Awareness Month. Ashley Owen Santangelo’s guest blog post reminds us that, as helpers, we need to be aware of our own mental health and the self-care needed.

     Recently, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. Self-care, including medications and therapy, helped me navigate this challenging time.

Helpers Being Human

     As the director of a new program, I found that my workload started to feel unmanageable and I was not getting the agency support I’d anticipated. On top of that, I made a medication change, which in retrospect was done rather hastily. The combination of the brain chemistry changes and feeling overwhelmed with external pressure set me into a month-long major depressive episode. 

     My symptoms were a checklist for a common mental health diagnosis. I had disrupted sleep patterns. My appetite decreased. I didn’t enjoy listening to music or taking photos, as I normally do. I felt as if a physical weight was pulling me down. You know how your body feels clammy and weak before you get sick? My body felt like that a lot. I had crying spells, and my thoughts went to worst case scenarios about everything.

     I consulted with my psychiatric nurse practitioner to change my medication back to a therapeutic dose. And, I got back in therapy. These mental health resources were essential for my self-care. 

Self-Care Rituals 

     In addition to traditional mental health care, I engaged in several self-care rituals that helped me get through this time. This self-care helped me show up to a very stressful daily reality, despite wanting to curl up in bed and hide from the world.

1. I took five minutes, most mornings, for brief guided meditations (many are available on YouTube) focusing on gratitude. Despite falling apart inside, something about getting in touch with what I was grateful for humbled me, helped me remain connected to the good around me, and relaxed tension building up in my body. 
2. I asked for help whenever I needed it. I became more assertive than usual when expressing my concerns at work. And, I texted my husband, parents, or friends when I felt especially vulnerable and allowed their love to guide me through moments that felt unbearable.
3. I challenged beliefs that weren’t helpful. Whenever I caught myself thinking I was going to lose my job and screw my financial future (or some other doomsday thinking), I challenged it with more objective, less drastic thoughts about the situation. (e.g., “You may not lose your job” or “You may lose your job, but figure out a way make it in the meantime”).
4. I allowed myself to enjoy small things. Most of these things involved noticing nature: sunrises, sunsets, and the sensations in nature symbolizing the onset of Spring – birds chirping, leaves emerging on the trees, colors popping up on the landscape. 

     I am proud and relieved to say that I am pretty much in remission from this episode. Self-care helped me get by and still manage to function at my job. Depression looks different for everybody, but I hope that my story can offer help and hope to others who may be struggling. 

Ashley Owen Santangelo is a licensed social worker and certified career coach in New York City. She is currently the program director of a Staten Island based nonprofit and has previously worked at New York University and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. She has been writing poetry, fiction, and memoirs since she was 12 years old.

For more self-care ideas, check out The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals.