Self-Care A-Z: Home-Making as Self-Care
by Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
I love travel and home! Recently, extensive travel prompted me to reflect about home and self-care!
Make the World a Better Place, at Home
Home-making is often viewed as an after-thought or privilege. We neglect home for “more important” demands: “The world’s a mess! It’s self-centered to focus on home.”
However, as Gretchen Rubin (2019) clarifies: Giving attention to home helps “restore our equanimity—[which] isn’t a futile or selfish gesture…equanimity makes us more effective when we seek to address the problems of the world.” (p. xix) Melissa Michaels (2015) says: “Our homes should inspire us to go out into the world to do great things and then welcome us back for refreshment.” (p. 163)
Let’s consider home-making as self-care!
Reflect on What “Home” Means to You
Picture your current home. What feelings arise? How would you like to feel?
Is your “ideal home” a hive for social gatherings, play-space for kids and friends, creative retreat, nurturing nest? A combination of those or something else? Years ago, we christened our home, “Casa de Paz,” which encapsulates our home-vision. We want to feel peaceful in our home and share that peace with others. What captures your vision of “home”?
With this vision in mind, assess your current home. Walk through your home. Identify three things you like/are grateful for about your home. Identify two things you want to change.
Commit to Home-Making
Then, design an action plan to accentuate the positives and address the negatives. The actions may be as simple as planting flowers. More involved commitments may include decluttering, starting with cleaning out that garage you’re grateful for, but under-use. Or, (re)decorating in your style.
Decide on strategies to enact your plan. Schedule “staycations” to focus on home-making. Institute a weekly “power hour,” setting a timer and doing home tasks. Do a 30-day decluttering challenge. Develop daily home-making habits and regular rituals for appreciating home.
Create a space just for you! This space will vary, depending on circumstances. A former student, with young children and a small apartment, claimed a closet as a sequestered space for her school-work. A colleague set up a reading nook, with a cozy chair and reading lamp in a corner of the bedroom she shared with her partner. Another fashioned a craft area in an under-used alcove.
With self-care commitments, we often need support & accountability! Enlist others in your commitments. Include those who share your home. Ensure home-making is a family endeavor. Ask a friend to help you declutter or decorate.
Use Resources! In “home-making” as self-care for many years, I’ve curated helpful resources. See below for a few of my current favorites.* What are some of your resources?
When considering self-care, we can experience ambivalence, guilt, judgment, and failure. These reactions can be especially true in the context of “home”-self-care. Give yourself permission to enjoy home-making as self-care. Remember: Self-care plans are unique. Self-care is a process, not perfection! Do your home, happily and imperfectly! May your self-care journey include: “Welcome Home!”
Peace, Love, & Self-Care,
Erlene
*A Few Favorite Resources for Ideas, Inspiration, and Enjoyment in Home-Making as Self-Care
Hassad, C., & Hassad, D. (2015). The mindful home—The secrets to making your home a place of harmony, beauty, wisdom and true happiness. Wollombi, NSW, Australia: Exisle Publishing.
Kondo, M. (2016). Spark joy: An illustrated master class on the art of organizing and tidying up. New York, NY: Ten Speed Press.
Michaels, M. (2015). Love the home you have—simple ways to…Embrace your style. Get organized. Delight in where you are. Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers.
Rubin, G. (2019). Outer order—Inner Calm—Declutter and organize to make more room for happiness. New York, NY: Harmony Books.
(Note: Along with other books, these authors offer additional resources, including websites, blogs, podcasts, and television show.)
Dr. Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, MSW, MRE is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!