Self-Care A-Z: Minding Our Self-Care P’s and Q’s
by Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
(Editor’s Note: This article covers the P’s. See the Q’s here.)
I took a Pause to close out 2022. I wanted to end the year in a focused, contemplative way and start 2023 grounded and ready for a generative, peaceful year. In my January posts, I’ll reflect on this Pause and propose some P’s and Q’s that can deepen and strengthen our self-care. Here, I consider 5 P’s. My next post will discuss Q’s of self-care, i.e., asking critical, clarifying key Questions.
Pausing
“We have been bamboozled...by a culture without a pause button.” (Hersey, p. 55)
My intentional Pause reinforced that pausing is an integral aspect of self-care. As part of deepening my understanding of this element, I savored Tricia Hersey’s remarkable book, Rest is Resistance—A Manifesto. Through her incisive and revelatory work, Hersey leads a just rest revolution that counters the entrenched toxicity of capitalism, grind culture, white supremacy, and patriarchy. Whilst explicitly focused on Black liberation, the Rest Movement applies for all, because the heart of the movement is to “be more human” (p. 27).
Expansive, wholistic self-care is about being human—flourishing fully and freely. Don’t be bamboozled. Mind your P’s. Just pause.
Pondering
“Ponder: Turn some curiosity and reverence to the questions that are alive in you.” (On Being, October 20, 2022 episode)
My purposeful Pause led me to more deeply appreciate the importance of pondering. Synonyms for ponder include contemplate, muse, meditate, and reflect. These delicious words are food for thought. (Wink!)
In search of Pause inspirations, I reconnected with Krista Tippett’s On Being project, which I’d previously enjoyed. Their resources, including The Pause, became contemplative companions on my pondering path. In particular, the podcast episode on “Living the Questions” sparked insights about self-care, which I’ll develop in my next post.
For now: How is pondering relevant for self-care? Without intentional and thoughtful consideration—i.e., pondering—our self-care remains superficial. Be contemplative and curious. Mind your P’s. Pause to Ponder!
Puttering
“[Puttering]...can help you feel content...and...the effect is exponential” (~McGovern, p. 115)
This Pause opened space for a favorite form of self-care: Puttering! Anna McGovern’s wee book, Pottering. A cure for modern life, became my guide. (Pottering is the British term.) In her introduction, McGovern defines pottering as “to occupy oneself in a pleasant way but without a definite plan or purpose.” McGovern develops five fundamentals of pottering: make do with what you’ve got, don’t try too hard, move (though not a lot!), keep it local (don’t go far), and keep it digital-free.
McGovern’s testimonial of how puttering/pottering changed her life is a case study of self-care. In addressing her burnout, McGovern sequestered several Tuesdays in a row for pottering. She reports that these pottering pauses refreshed and renewed her, bringing clarity and calm, professionally and personally.
Meandering through my home, rearranging random items, darning that sock, organizing my books: Puttering is the mindlessness yang to the yin of mindfulness. Together, they’re necessary, interconnected balance. Mind your P’s! Potter, Putter, Peace!
Playing
“...play can help us get back in touch with (or figure out for the first time) who we actually are” (~Price, p. 91)
My Pause also reminded me to take play seriously. As I articulated in Grand Rules for Self-Care, having fun is a FUNdamental aspect of self-care. Since childhood, reading—amongst many meaningful effects—has been unparalleled fun for me. So, in this Winter Pause, I cozied into an immersive “Reading Retreat.” Alongside “serious” stuff, I devoured novels, including several of the Louise Penny mystery series, with the next one—like a winter hot chai or chocolate treat —awaiting me.
I’m reading Catherine Price’s The Power of Fun—How to Feel Alive Again. As the book jacket proclaims, “Fun is not self-indulgence. It’s critical to your well-being.” Emphatically, play must not be limited to an “extra” luxury! Like all self-care, it must be integrated into our lifestyle.
When I talk with folks about self-care and their work, I ask, “Are you having fun?” Recently, I was inspired for many reasons by Attica Locke and Tembe Locke’s interview on Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast. Specifically, I was inspired by Attica’s instructive advice, “[All writers] would do well to stay as close to a feeling of play as possible.” That’s Write On Self-Care advice, ya’ll!
Have fun. Mind your P’s! Play it forward!
Practicing
“How do you get to Self-Care Success? Practice, Practice, Practice!” (~Anonymous FUN-damentalist Practitioner 😊)
This intentional Pause solidified commitment to integrate pause in my life. All of self-care is about practice, not perfection; ongoing practice, not an end product. Remember that this blog forum is a repository of resources to inform, encourage, and enrich our self-care practice. Use it as such, and let me know if you want to contribute to our ongoing conversation.
Now, mind your P’s. Keep practicing. I’ll be back soon with some Q’s for us.
P’seace, Love, & Self-Care, Erlene
Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!