Self-Care, A-Z: The Self-Care Practice of Letting Go
by Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, LMFT, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
“The autumn leaves show us how lovely it is to let go.” (Unknown)
Usually, self-care is something to take on, to do. However, Autumn is an apropos season for emphasizing the important self-care practice of letting go. I invite you to stroll/roll with me and reflect on letting go.
Leaf-Life: Letting Go
On my morning walk,
I spotted a beautiful, crimson leaf.
A fleeting thought:
Oh! I should pick up that leaf.
But, my pace was brisk.
I didn’t want to interrupt my stride.
Looking back at the leaf,
I felt somehow forlorn.
In looking back regret,
I almost missed
A lovely, lone leaf,
Glistening in the morning dew.
Ah! I thought:
Another chance!
What a gorgeous, gracious gift.
Picking up the leaf,
I continued on my path.
Walking on, I began
To notice other leaves.
Oh! That one is
Much bigger, more colorful…
I compared my leaf to others.
It looked small.
It had little spots.
The dew was beginning to dry on it.
I spied a huge pile of leaves.
I thought:
Now, that’s a treasure trove.
I could find a perfect leaf there!
Suddenly, I realized with chagrin,
Humor, and hope,
That I needed to turn over
A new leaf.
Distractions, comparisons, and regrets
Cause me to ignore and devalue the leaf in hand.
I’m making the delightful discovery that letting go
Opens up glorious leaf-scapes of now.
Perhaps your reflective path is not through leaves; maybe, it’s a beach. Or, you may prefer writing or drawing. Regardless, choose a way to move through a reflection on letting go. Then, identify a talisman to symbolize this commitment. It may be a leaf, shell, word, or a picture of a balloon or other object.
Consider what you need to let go. What bogs down your spirit and blocks your well-being? Maybe, it’s as significant as a toxic relationship or mundane as a nagging expectation. Perhaps, it’s a shattered dream or unrealistic standard; painful memory or joyful time long past. Maybe, it’s a hurtful habit or a spirit-sapping situation; self-talk or outer trappings; work demand or financial stressor. It may mean cleaning out a closet or clearing up a misunderstanding.
You decide. Be as clear as you can. Amidst a toxic workplace, I anguished about letting go of my drive to advocate. Doing so, cost me. With reflection, I realized I was trying to let go of the wrong thing. Instead, I needed to let go of my desires to be liked and to control outcomes. Letting go of those things freed energy to live my conscience. Not easy, but much better self-care.
Sometimes, knowing what needs to be let go is immediate. Oftentimes, it involves more reflection. Use the talisman reminder to encourage commitment to letting go.
In Buddhist thought, all suffering is rooted in attachment. Letting go brings enlightenment. Views become brighter and loads are lighter.
“Sometimes you don’t realize the weight of something you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release.” (Unknown)
Peace, Love, and Self-Care,
Erlene
Dr. Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, LMFT, MSW, MRE is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!