Self-Care A-Z: 5 Harmful Self-Care Myths

by Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals 

     Attention to self-care is growing! However, persistent self-care myths pose significant barriers to effective self-care. Let’s identify and counter those myths.

Myth #1:  Self-care is an emergency response. 

     Self-care as something to be done when overwhelmed or burnt out is subtly, yet significantly, problematic.  Progress in understanding the need for self-care led to the metaphor of an airplane’s “emergency mask.” Put on your mask first, before you can help others.  However, masks are for when the plane is crashing. We should not wait until we’re crashing to practice self-care.

     A previous blog challenged this limiting mask metaphor.  Breath is a more comprehensive metaphor for self-care as a lifestyle! More than a mask, self-care is whatever keeps you breathing fully and freely, consistently—not just in emergencies.

Myth #2:  Self-care is an “extra,” privilege, or treat.  

     A similar myth is that self-care is a luxury.  This view discounts self-care as only for those who can afford expensive treats or exotic vacations.  Sadly, those with this view can fall into trying to be super-human, an unrealistic standard.

     Another form of this myth is that self-care is an “extra”/add on.  It’s how we recover from exhausting work—again, typically, as an emergency.  This understanding is not necessarily incorrect; it’s just limiting. 

     Here are two important correctives. First, instead of an “extra,” we must reframe self-care as an ethical imperative for competent, sustainable practice. Rather than a luxury, self-care is a core ethical obligation. Inattention to self-care results in compromised professional services. 

     Second, we must reframe self-care in wholistic terms. Too often, self-care is limited to physical domains—e.g., going to the gym. In a more holistic understanding, self-care is related to every aspect of one’s being—psychological, social, etc.

     Also, we need to understand that self-care isn’t just recovery from work. A crucial aspect of self-care is how we work—i.e., caring for ourselves as part of work, during work. Self-care isn’t an extra; it’s an essential. The goal of self-care is life balance, which includes work.

Myth #3: An ideal self-care plan exists…and others know how to do it.

    Actually, self-care is an ongoing struggle for most of us.  Embrace the struggle. Be sure your self-care is Individualized. What works for me might not work for you—and one’s self-care plan evolves and changes over time.

Myth #4: Self-care is “blaming the victim” - organizations bear the responsibility for employee self-care.

     Frequently, when promoting self-care, someone says, “Aren’t you blaming the victim? Isn’t the organization responsible?” This either/or framing is problematic. Yes, certainly, organizations should promote healthy work cultures. And, individual practitioners can affect our own well-being through self-care, even in toxic environments.  It’s not an either/or!

Myth #5: I will practice self-care when…

     Another common misperception about self-care is that an ideal time will arrive for practicing self-care. A previous blog post addresses this myth.  [Re]-start your self-care now.

     What other self-care barriers do you encounter? How do you address them? Consider sharing your thoughts through a guest blog post.

Dr. Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, MSW, MRE is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC.  This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals.  As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!