Self-Care A-Z: Sharing Self-Care “Recipes”

by Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals 

     Practicing self-care is akin to learning how to cook a life-menu that nurtures, fuels, pleasures, and satisfies. Like chefs learning their craft, over many years, my expertise and artistry in self-care has grown. So, here’s what’s cooking!

Designing a Self-Care Cookbook

     I’ve developed some tried-and-true self-care recipes and principles. As you read mine, consider what are the main ingredients for YOUR self-care cookbook. 

1. Essential Ingredients: Focus on Foundations— Every good cook knows, even whilst refining recipes, it’s important to remember the foundations. For my self-care menu, I always include the basics of Rest, Nutrition, Movement—essential ingredients of self-care. Like a comfort food that heals, when getting overwhelmed, I focus on that basic recipe. I prioritize getting some rest, attending to my nutritional/hydration needs, and integrating movement. Not always easy, but, always essential.
2. Go-To Recipes: Go Small, Smaller, Smallest—Every cook needs go-to recipes for just good, basic fare. Similarly, whilst growth and challenge are important, I’ve learned that when I get too fancy with my self-care, I can become discouraged. To regain perspective, I go small, smaller, smallest. What’s the smallest step I can take today to feed my self-care? Make my bed; do some stretches; say “No” to something. Over time, collectively, “smallest” steps become habits, which become a smorgasbord self-care lifestyle. 
3. Marinate: Practice Gratitude—Of many self-care habits, practicing gratitude may be the most impactful. In cooking, marinating enhances flavors. Gratitude is the marinade of self-care. It deepens every experience—ordinary, difficult, joyful. Sure, you can make a meal without it, but ahhh…once you’ve found the marinating power, you’ll use it extensively.
4. Simmer: Slow it Down—Similarly, simmering self-care involves slowing down to allow for mindfulness, reflection, and simplicity. My simmering self-care includes reading, journaling, puttering, just being. It includes organizing, cleaning, and attending my environment. Simmering also involves slowing down decision processes and/or responses to stressful situations. Slowing down allows for mindful consideration, gathering necessary information/support, and being present to oneself and others. Like marinating, simmering is necessary for a menu that promotes a healthy self-care repertoire.
5. Know How To Blend, Stir, and Separate: Connection & Solitude—Good cooks know how to blend and stir. They also know the importance of separating ingredients—such as egg whites and yolks. Similarly, good self-care engages connecting to others, especially infusers. Good self-care also involves connecting to our purpose and greater causes. These connections are reciprocal; they feed and fuel us. Concomitantly, these connections can deplete us. Part of self-care is ascertaining where feeling disconnected. And, oftentimes, it’s from one’s self. We need to know when to separate; we all need boundaries and solitude. Communing with nature, reflecting, resting, and connecting to one self is crucial self-care.
6. Saute and Sizzle: Advocate—A good cook also knows the importance of bringing the heat! Saute and Sizzle! A crucial aspect of self-care is awareness of broader contextual considerations, such as toxic environments, systemic injustices, and other macro factors. Advocating for systemic changes is part of self-care—not separate from it.
7. Measure and Monitor: Track and Assess—Experienced chefs develop intuitive skills, but, even experts—and especially novices—need to measure and monitor their efforts. Similarly, know the value of tracking self-care commitments and reinforcing habits. Routinely assess: What’s working? What needs work? How can I tweak my “recipes”?
8. Senses and Spices: Wholistic & Expansive—Enjoyable cooking (and, eating!) is a fully sensory experience: taste (yum or yuck), smell (aromas), sight (presentation/colors), touch (textures), and even sound (sizzle!) Further, excellent cooking involves an array of flavors. Sweet, savory, salty, sour, and spicey: Menu of life. Likewise, self-care engages an expansive appreciation for all aspects of the human experience and a wholistic balance of the spices of life.
9. Cooking Philosophy: Self-Compassion—At the heart of good food is the cooking philosophy/approach. Self-compassion is an ideal self-care philosophy. Be kind in your cooking. You’ll make mistakes; adopt a growth mindset. Use ingredients at hand. But, also, gather what you need. Savor the process of it all. And, remember good enough self-care: Sometimes, it’s okay to eat out or just have a PB&J sandwich. 😊

     What feeds and fuels your self-care? Share your recipes!

Peace, Love, & Self-Care, Erlene

Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC.  This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals.  As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!