Self-Care A-Z: Use These Strategies To Cope With Feeling Disconnected

by Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, and Laura E. Escobar-Ratliff, DSW

     Feeling disconnected? You’re not alone.

     More people are feeling disconnected in their work. In many cases, it stems from working from home (WFH)—whether exclusively or primarily. Others are experiencing isolation in private practice.  “Quiet quitting” (or, more positively, setting boundaries!), whilst having positive outcomes in many respects, is contributing to feelings of disconnect. 

     Here “R” self-care strategies for coping with this increasing phenomenon. What would you add?

Reflect and Reimagine

     Take some time to reflect on what’s working for you? Realistically, the workplace was traditionally a convenient place to fulfill connection needs—but, often to the detriment of other connections, such as personal, community, and even self. And, some connections were unhealthy. Disconnection, whilst disorienting initially, can open space for life balancing. For example, time spent on a commute can be redirected toward time with loved ones, nature, or solitude. The over-reach of employment can be diminished and healthier connections pursued. Reinforce these healthier aspects. 

     Also, reflect on the deeper need/desire you’re experiencing. For instance, do you need  professional support, development, purpose, or challenge?  Social interaction? Fun, creative engagement?  Combination of these? Or, something else? 

     This reflection requires asking better questions. Oftentimes, we externalize our need by framing it as: Why doesn’t my workplace give me more ________? Certainly, a valid query. But, in terms of self-care, this “why” externalization can create more frustration, resentment, and disempowerment. Instead, redefine the situation: I need/desire/seek __________. 

     Reimagine connection. Do you need more connection to others—professionally and personally? Purpose/meaning? Nature, experiences of joy and awe? And/or to self?

     Reimagine how YOU might have more power in attaining your needs. Explicitly and specifically, consider: How can I access, pursue, generate what I desire? Accepting that your workplace may not give you what you seek—at least in the ways you initially envisioned it—can free up energy to create alternative paths toward addressing your deeper needs.

Reframe and Redesign

     Instead of waiting for your workplace to fulfill connection needs, reframe and redesign! Take back your power. Intentionally rebalance connection. Emphatically, reframe connection as part of work. Without this intentional reframe, time regained by WFH can be filled with endless tasks.

     Wanting more collegial connection? Identify a colleague or two from work (or other arenas) and meet regularly for lunch or check-in chats. Combine human connection with nature and physical activity. Do walk-talks, either in-person or by phone. If circumstances permit, arrange to have a shared workspace for a limited time, in public spaces (e.g., coffee shop, library) or private.

     Feeling the need for more professional development? Pursue additional training. Or, start a self-school; listen to an uplifting/educational podcast. Initiate a reading itinerary—either individually or with others. “Communities of learning” enhance a sense of connection.

     Wanting more professional support? Introduce ideas. For instance, start a peer supervision group to discuss common challenges and strategies. Begin a book club. Hint: Use The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook, designed for just this purpose.

     Don’t limit your sense of connection to your workplace; think more broadly. Instead of doing everything virtually, connect in other ways—as your circumstances allow. For example, even micro-public connections can decrease our sense of isolation. So, instead of taking online classes, go to the gym. Instead of shopping online, go local. Communal settings provide a sense of connection. Intentionally, integrate using public places—especially open spaces, such as parks.

     Explore avenues for civic, political, activist engagement—plant trees, register voters, support the library, join a task force, volunteer. Options are endless, needed, and connective! Similarly, link up with professional organizations. Attend conferences, meetings, networking events. These professional contacts expand opportunities for connection. Also, simply consider re-connecting with people who previously inspired, encouraged, and challenged you.

Self-Care: We “R” Connected!

     Finally, assess and accentuate your connections. As discussed in the “C”—Connection entry in The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook, connection is an integral aspect of self-care. An adaptation of an eco-map can be used to identify your personal and professional connections. Likewise, Wade Drury’s  PIE (Person-in-Environment) post encourages a connectivity assessment. Think quality, not necessarily quantity.  Assess your Energy Vampires versus Energy Infusers.

     Through reflecting, reimagining, reframing, and redesigning, you can create quality connections. And, please, connect with us to share your ideas, too, in our #SelfCareMovement!

Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC.  This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals.  As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!

Laura E. Escobar-Ratliff, DSW, is Clinical Assistant Professor and Doctor of Social Work (DSW) Program Director at the University of Kentucky College of Social Work. Dr. Escobar-Ratliff has more than two decades of direct care, clinical, and administrative experience, as well as more than 10 years of experience in social work education.