Self-Care A-Z: What Are We Learning About Self-Care From Coping During COVID?
by Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
I’ve been asking folks, “What have you learned about self-care during COVID that you want to continue?” Responses are both deeply reflective and profoundly pragmatic. I synthesized a range of responses into complementary themes. What would you add?
Slow Down
It seems counterintuitive in times of crises to slow down. But, that theme is prevalent.
Tammy discovered, “Believing life has to be busy, and feeling overwhelmed wasn’t LIVING. I realized I was avoiding feeling. With COVID slowing life down, I had time to sit with my feelings, past trauma, and unresolved grief. I was forced to face it, feel it, go through it, and heal some of what I’d suppressed through busyness and avoidance.” Likewise, Mindy learned, “Down-time is invaluable to our well-being. In down-time, I can rest and reflect.”
Slowing down is an integrated practice: Breathing, grounding, pausing.... For example, Abbie said she will continue “laying in my hammock between therapy sessions.” Doing telehealth, Toya started mindfully washing her hands after sessions and advising clients to do so, as a refreshing, releasing ritual.
What’s one specific step you can take to slow down?
Keep it Simple
Slowing down intersects with another theme of keeping it simple. For many, self-care included resurfacing previous hobbies and creative outlets or initiating new ones. Some, like Marsha and Gerricha, enjoy crafting. Others, like Lauren and Jeff, identified “reading more” as a COVID coping to continue. Donna’s favorite self-care is “playing music with family.” Virginia “listens to oldies, turning up the volume and dancing!”
In a shout-out to dogs, Nick said “laughing at talking dogs on Tik-Tok” is a favorite stress release. Others, such as Lynetta, include dog walking, “as in, the dog is sick of all this walking.” With or without canine companionship, walking is a common coping strategy. Connecting with nature—e.g., gardening or camping—is another common strategy. During COVID, simple pleasures and activities took on new meaning, which is significant for ongoing self-care.
What is one specific way you can keep it simple?
Prioritize Your Values
Nicole said, “During COVID, routine was my savior and controlling what I could control. Of course, that comes with a caution about choosing what to control.” Nicole’s lesson underscores the importance of clarifying and prioritizing values. For instance, Pearl found, “COVID brought a new perspective. I enjoy life more now. I’m freer from false commitments (professional and personal). I weeded my relationship garden to make room for fresh growth. I’m letting go of people who don’t seem to value me and aligning with some new amazing humans.” Likewise, Cortney said, “The biggest change was developing a healthier relationship with myself, which also changes how I allow others to treat me.”
Laura noted, “Sedentary Zoom meetings became problematic; I learned to take movement breaks. And, WFH can lead to working constantly; balancing commitments and setting boundaries [are] essential [skills].” As Tonya summarized, “I have to consistently work on not overcommitting to others and neglecting myself.”
Mariah shared, “COVID taught me our kids don’t have to be so busy! Family time at home is actually healthier for all of us. I was reminded I really enjoy my family. I’ve changed my work schedule to prioritize that.” Similarly, Michelle said she’ll continue “FaceTime family gatherings” to stay connected. Ashley remarked, “Before COVID, I mindlessly bounced from one thing to another. Since COVID, I plan more intentionally. My son and I have more time with loved ones and unstructured home time. we’re not so over-scheduled.”
Larry identified “having a comfortable and enjoyable home-space” as a key COVID takeaway. Yvonne exclaimed, “Elastic (i.e., comfy clothes)!” Kathy emphasized that COVID reminded her to prioritize basic health commitments.
Identify three things you value. Consider your commitments this week. What specific ways can you prioritize your values?
Self-Care and Systemic Change Are Interconnected
COVID is a shared crisis, and every crisis holds opportunities. Like larger systems change, profound self-care changes are sometimes precipitated during challenging circumstances. Certainly, I—like many—hope this COVID crisis compels systemic changes.
And, I’m grateful this time also generates more serious attention to self-care. Examples, such as those shared above, convey and reinforce the potential for deepening self-care commitments. And, in fractal ways, these micro-changes fuel systemic change and collective well-being.
Peace, Love, & Self-Care, Erlene
Dr. Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!