It's Okay To Cry

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Self Portrait

by Imad Mohamed, MSW

     As a social worker, I have had many moments when the best support I could provide my clients was just being present through empathy. And at times, the most meaningful words that one can say are, "It's okay to cry."

Poem:

As she uncovers her past

She feels the sweat of her emotional world taken over her vision. She has been abused throughout her life.

Blamed and pushed, over and over. Voices continue to Echo in her head that it is her fault. Don't cry is all she heard, so she guards her emotions from tears and continues to live on as an unrecognized victim.

He grew up without a father. He is the product of the endless effort, the multiple jobs, the sweat drips, and the scarified dreams of a single mother who tried to raise him to be a healthy man. The sacrifice and advice of his mother continues to battle the endless internal emotional fight of coping with the absences of his father. So he continues to battle, his internal debate. Is it mom or dad? Who is wrong? He refuses to talk about this. He internally cries and externally throws a fit.

Cause society has told him don't cry, it's not appropriate.

Whatever the context we need to understand that being healthy people starts out with being emotionally conscious. But nurturing our emotional conscious starts out with providing people a safe presence for them to be emotionally honest.

So next time you see flooded eyes. Remember to tell them it's alright to cry.

Remember to not hold back the dripping tears

For these tears represent all that was held within

These tears carry the pain and fear the heavy thoughts that swim within the mind

These tears knock the walls that guard the emotional world that's hidden behind the skin

We often attempt to respond with an intent to comfort the flooded eyes

With advice and Sincere but hurtful remarks like it's okay, please don't cry

We failed to realize, that when the eyes are full of tears, we are in the presence of a person Who is emotionally exhausted from all the times that they have tried to hold their emotional affairs from the awareness of external sight

So please know that telling them don't cry, does not nurture optimism.

Validation is the best way to show them

That you are with them

So next time tell them that you are surprised that they haven't cried after all they been through

No matter the context that flow down the tears

Whether is emotions of joy, sadness, fear, or anger

Whether is the eyes of your family, friends, neighbor, or strangers

Just listen, be present, and hear.

Imad Mohamed is from Somalia and grew up in rural Minnesota. He graduated with an MSW degree from Mankato State University Minnesota. He currently works in child protection, emergency mental health with children, and is a trainer with the Department of Human Services. Personal hobbies include utilizing creative writing, poetry, and spoken word to promote social work values, including social justice and personal development.