Listening Is Key
by Andrea J. Calabrese, LCSW, CASAC
What I have loved most about the various positions I have held in clinics and agencies is being able to be present. The ability to be present is to be completely in the moment and to listen, really listen with your whole being; from your head to your heart to your toes. This has made all the difference in the work that I have done. This ability does not come naturally, but it is a skill that is honed and developed over the years. It is practiced in many ways and in many different settings, but the more it is practiced, the better it becomes.
I have found that it is becoming exceedingly difficult in the work setting today - as well as living in a fast-paced, technology driven century - to practice the fine art of being present. There have been times when I have had to shut clients’ cell phones in my desk, turn my own phone to "do not disturb," and hang a sign on my door so others would know that I was in session. This has been very challenging at times, because as an administrator, I am constantly operating in crisis mode and it seems that every other moment I am needed for either a staff or client issue. But I have been able to find a way to be taken out of the moment to deal with a situation and then to slide right back into being present again for that person.
A connection cannot be made and therapeutic work cannot be done if one is not fully present in the moment. This is discussed in supervision with my students and modeled for them in their own supervision. I emphasize that the importance of presence lies in how the client responds to the clinician as well as in what risks they are willing to take in the session. Therapy is not easy and often strips clients of their defenses, so they feel vulnerable and exposed, their souls laid bare to be scrutinized and judged. Without the art of presence, we can lose sight of the subtle, silent exchanges that happen in the quiet of the therapy setting. After all, I do consider myself honored and privileged to be invited to witness someone’s own truth. Narratives are powerful tools and need to be heard - thus the need to be fully present.
Presence births empathy, which begets compassion and is cloaked in non-judgment and tied together by trust. These are just some of the elements that are embodied by clinicians. A rhythm is created when a therapeutic relationship begins and a client becomes comfortable with a therapist and is willing to trust in the process - but presence has to be the driving force for this to occur. I cannot emphasize enough that utilizing presence is integral in all levels of communication. After all, being present is a gift, for me, for my clients, and for my staff.
Andrea J. Calabrese, LCSW, CASAC, has been a clinical social worker for more than 10 years and is currently completing her doctorate in social work at Rutgers University, focusing on the purpose of clinical supervision in social work education and practice.