Our Clients/Our Selves IV, or Choice of Metaphor/Metaphor of Choice

by Greg Gross, MSW, College of St. Rose, Albany, NY

  1. Look at YOU!  Don’t you look sharp today?
  2. Thank you.  Thanks for noticing.
  1. Listen to you -- “Thank you for noticing.”  You think so, too. And can say it. Out loud. That’s progress.
  2. For having a hat?
  1. For picking a hat.  A great hat.
  2. Picky, picky, picky.
  1. No, you picked.  You chose that hat.  You made a choice.
  2. Well…
  1. Own it.
  2. Of course, I “own” it.  I bought it.
  1. If the hat fits…
  2. Wear it?
  1. Precisely.
  2. It fits precisely.
  1. A precise fit.  A fit between you and the hat.  That’s what’s important here.  Now…, put yourself in the picture.
  2. Good lord!  Another metaphor -- “picture.”
  1. Let’s mix metaphors a bit more, ok?
  2. If we must.
  1. Here goes: Put your self in the mirror.
  2. With the hat or without the hat?
  1. “With,” of course.
  2. Ok.
  1. What do you see?
  2. I see someone who looks like me wearing a hat.  A hat I would generally never buy for myself.
  1. How come?
  2. It’s not “me.”
  1. Not you?  Who then?
  2. Well, it’s preppy.  Pretty darned preppy!
  1. And you’re not “preppy”?
  2. Hey.  It’s you with the alligator on your shirt.

(pause)

          Pul-eez!  Don’t go making another metaphor.

  1. No time for crocodile tears, ay?… Sorry about that.  I couldn’t resist.  It had to be said.  My bad.
  2. Sometimes when I look at you, all I see are teeth and a tail!
  1. I had that coming to me, didn’t I?
  2. I couldn’t resist either.  My bad, too. Um, maybe we should get back to preppy.
  1. Ok.  So… I am preppy.  We agree on that.  And you are not preppy.  And we agree on that, too.
  2. Ok, so…?
  1. And… And, you, little by little now, are becoming what?  Preppy.
  2. I am?  Well, maybe.  Maybe, I suppose so.
  1. Like me.
  2. Yes, I do like you.  A lot.
  1. No, that’s not what I meant.  Uh, mean.  I mean, you are becoming preppy, um, like me.
  2. (silence)
  1. That’s not good, is it?
  1. It’s neither good nor bad.
  2. (silence)
  1. There’s a name for it.
  2. Not another metaphor, I hope.
  1. No, not this time.  It’s called “transference.”  Or, is it “counter-transference”?  I confuse the two sometimes.
  2. Pick one.  Um, like a hat.
  1. Ok, I’ll go with counter-transference.
  2. Good choice.  Like a hat.
  1. So… This counter-transference.  Does it fit?
  2. Well, no.  Not really.  Me becoming you? It feels a little creepy.
  1. Don’t worry.  You’ll get over the counter-transference.
  2. THAT’S IT!!
  1. What?
  2. The final metaphor!
  1. What?
  2. “Over the counter transference.”
  1. What?
  2. Like at a drugstore -- over the counter.  No prescription.  No clinic.
  1. No me.
  2. That’s right.  Just ME.  At last.
  1. Over…
  2. Over.
  1. Over.
  2. Over and out.

(pause)

          One more thing.

  1. Yes?
  2. My hat’s off to you!
  1. (quietly)  Yes…

Greg Gross retires from college teaching after 41 years. He stands grateful to The New Social Worker for having published a poem or dialogue for each of the past four years during Social Work Month.