Self-Care Summer: What Is It About Self-Care?

by Sarah K. Sloan, LCSW-S

     I will get straight to the point. What makes it so damn hard for us to take care of ourselves?  Self-care is talked about often, yet is probably one of the least followed-through acts in our profession. Most of us would never dream of NOT taking care of our clients, and yet we are often disconnected from the need for our own care. Sometimes the only way we do take care of ourselves is when it is mandated or is connected to the ethics of our best practices for clients. So how and when are we going to move us to the top of the list?

     During American Red Cross lifeguard training, the phrase, “Reach, throw, row, then go,” is used as a hierarchy for helping someone in the water who is in distress. Note that the last thing that is done is to go into the water with the person. Being in the water with someone drowning puts the lifeguard at the most risk for drowning, too. It is a practical move; there is no need for two people to be in distress and at risk. It is also an act of protecting yourself first in an effort to be available to provide the best care for you and those in need of your support.

     What can we do to provide needed self-care?

Find something, anything, that makes you feel alive and honors you.

     What did you used to do for fun, relaxation, or simply pure joy? I just attended a songwriting retreat. It was costly and took me away for a week, but it was priceless in its effects when I returned home. I am feeling creative and open, and it has translated into other areas of my life. Since I have just drained my self- care budget, I am now looking for local opportunities and ones I can create, just for me, to sing and play music with others. What can you do? Here are more steps for lasting self-care.

Make self-care the most important thing during your week.

     Schedule and protect it and, whatever you do, try to talk yourself out of any guilt about it. You are worth it, and prioritizing it will reinforce that message.

Support others in their own self-care.

     If someone says they can’t meet because they have a weekly underwater basket weaving class, we should find another meeting time. This also gives you permission for your future actions.

     If you do not think you deserve your own care, there may be bigger issues at play. Maybe a therapist or group can help sort out the disconnection to your own self-worth. This, too, is an act of self-care and may provide clarity for what has us prioritizing others over ourselves.

     The late African American feminist poet Audre Lorde wrote, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”  We are worth it.

Sarah K. Sloan is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Austin, TX, specializing in work with LGBTQ adults and couples counseling. She is currently a clinical associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin Steve Hicks School of Social Work. She also has a private practice that includes supervision, training, and consultation.