The Selfish Social Worker

by Alaysha M. Rector, LCSW

     How often, as social workers, are we asked by others, “What made you pick that field?” or “How do you do your type of job every day?” As I assume many of you have, I typically give answer seekers the cookie cutter answer that most social workers give, which is: “I love to help others.” Recently, after a grueling week of sessions and parent phone conferences, the exhausted and frustrated version of myself poised the very same question: “Why do I do this every day?”

     It comes as no surprise to fellow social workers to hear that this is a tough career. Many of us find ourselves helping to repair families (when our own are in shambles). We seek to help others find a voice (when oftentimes in our own personal lives we struggle to find our own). And we help others sort out their feelings (meanwhile, we find ourselves feeling insane because we are unable to decipher our own).

     As I pondered the question of “Why?” I began to think of the hundreds of people I’ve come in contact with as a service provider. Memories of the most difficult points of our working relationships, the emotional mountains I witnessed them climb, and the successes I’ve been blessed to watch them experience ran through my mind. I thought about the clients who were the thorns in my side and how these particular clients were typically ones who had the most resilience and determination I had ever known possible.

     During the times I have witnessed clients experiencing these moments, I’ve found as a result I became more confident in myself. I began to believe I was strong enough to tackle my own life’s problems. It has been during these moments that I’ve realized I could push myself harder to obtain my goals, both personal and professional.

     I’ve since changed my response to the all-time question, “Why do you do this job?” I am a social worker because every time I help someone reach their mountain top, it gives me the courage to reach mine. Every time an individual faces obstacle after obstacle and still has faith in humanity, my faith is renewed. It’s a self-serving idea, I know, but just think about how much healing could be accomplished if more people adopted the idea of mutual healing.

     In helping others, I help myself. In healing others, I heal myself. I love helping others, but in the end, I have benefited equally from every encounter. So while I love to help and educate others for a living, I am also selfishly keeping those pockets of knowledge, experiences, and resiliency for myself and my own journey. Sometimes you have to be the selfish social worker!

Alaysha M. Rector is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Pennsylvania, specializing in work with families, children, and teens. She is currently a school social worker at the Milton Hershey School and also provides community-based clinical treatment through a BHRS agency in Harrisburg.