Lesson
by Patti Aldredge, PhD, LICSW
Mrs. Paschal had a raspy southern drawl and drove a big Cadillac Seville. The first time I went on a home visit with her, the lit Virginia Slim that constantly dangled from her right hand slipped through her fingers on a sharp turn. She slammed the brakes, jumped out to retrieve the smoldering butt from beneath the seat, and continued on, unfazed. She was eccentric, no doubt. And wise, and kind, and generous. She got her MSW from Tulane in the 1940s and had worked in protective services for thirty years. My first social work supervisor, her guidance would chart the course for my career.
I was 21 when I took the job, one week after finishing my bachelor’s degree. Even with four years of courses and three internships, I was green. I needed someone who could nurture integration of academia with real world experience. I got that, and more. Friday afternoon of my first week on the job, a young mother showed up as I was locking the office door. She needed to leave her three children in the state’s care, to get back on her feet, she said. We worked out a plan for respite and steps to bring the kids home again.
She came in week after week to review her progress. She wasn’t able to enroll in the training program because her mother needed help. She couldn’t save money because her boyfriend’s car needed work. Then she wanted to visit out-of-town cousins while she could. We continued the work, she expressing commitment to goals yet not achieving them because of a host of unforeseen challenges.
Mrs. Paschal let me continue just long enough for the lesson but not long enough for my client or her children to suffer. “What does she want?” Mrs. Paschal asked during supervision. I listed the goals. “That’s what she says, but what is she telling you?” Mrs. Paschal asked more pointedly. I was stumped. Mrs. Paschal walked me through the lesson so gently that I could almost believe it was my own discovery. My client wanted to please me, so she worked on my goals for her. I believed that mothers who loved their children always wanted them back home. Mrs. Paschal helped me understand that something I thought to be universal truth was simply my value. Sometimes mothers who love their children know that they would be better in another home. When I shared permanent placement as an option with my client, she immediately identified that as her preferred option. She was relieved.
I left the agency to pursue my master’s degree, but I never forgot all the lessons I learned from Mrs. Paschal. I teach Practice now, and every semester I find myself sharing those lessons with a new crop of social work students. When I think of “generations strong,” I think of Mrs. Paschal, and of the many generations of social workers whose teaching and guidance have held up the profession all these decades. And I am grateful.
Patti Aldredge, PhD, LICSW, is Associate Professor and Social Work Program Director at Champlain College in Burlington, VT. A social work practitioner and educator for decades, she carries with her still the lessons of all of the mentors and mentees she has been fortunate to know.