Disenfranchised Trauma
by Lisa Zoll, LCSW, and Leslie Davila, MS
Much has been and continues to be written about the effects of sexual abuse on the primary victim. Less, however, has been written on the effects on the family of sexual abuse survivors and those close to the primary victim. Siblings tend to be overlooked in terms of the impact of abuse on the overall family structure, system, and dynamics. Siblings of abuse victims have been referred to as “indirect victims,” “invisible victims,” and/or “secondary victims.” A secondary victim is someone who experiences the feelings and impact of trauma without directly experiencing the trauma itself (Schmidt, 2015).
There is a trauma impact from learning of trauma that has happened to a close family member. When this trauma impact is unacknowledged, it can become disenfranchised. The term disenfranchised grief is defined as grief that either is not, or cannot be, openly acknowledged, socially validated, or publicly supported. Disenfranchised grief is usually the result of social stigma attached to a loss (Corr, 1998; Doka, 2002). Trauma may also go unacknowledged and/or unvalidated because the person who is traumatized (e.g., sexual assault, domestic violence) may fear that others will not understand, or that others may minimize their traumatic experience (Hall & Hall, 2017; Rife, 2009).
This article will review a case study, which will include a description of the impact on indirect victims to the traumatic event, as well as the experienced process of integrating the effects of the secondary trauma.
Case Study
I was eight years old when I found out my father had been sexually abusing my sister. It was later that I began to learn the details, which included the number of years and what sexual abuse meant. My frame of reference at that time was a TV movie in which a coach was abusing a 5-year-old member of his team. At that time, I did not fully understand that it involved more than inappropriate touching.
When my mother found out, she reported it to the police and took my sister through the beginning of the legal and medical processes. I, on the other hand, went to one of my favorite places in the world, my aunt’s house, to visit with my cousins. I played all day without a care in the world. That evening, my mother, who I knew was distraught about something, told me that my father had left us. My response was to reassure her that he would come back. I do remember being sad because I was “daddy’s girl.” Up to that point, we had never been apart. During the next few days, we relocated temporarily out of state.
Two months later, we moved back to our home so I could return to school. During this time, my father was arrested, released on bail, and was awaiting trial. The false narrative that I created in my 8-year-old mind was that he was off somewhere thinking that he had made a mistake to leave our family and would return soon.
With the encouragement of a therapist, my mother told me what my father had done. I remember staring at the ground when my mom told me why my father was no longer in our lives. I understood that my father had touched my sister in a sexual way and that it was wrong. According to my mother, my reaction was to call her a liar and to tell her that my father would never do that. There was an understanding that outside of the counselor’s office, I was not supposed to talk about what happened. I began to know that our family was “different” and damaged.
I struggled with reconciling the father that I knew with the perpetrator that my sister knew. There was guilt, because he hurt her, and he didn’t hurt me. I was confused about how I should feel about him and how I should feel about my sister. I was sad that I had lost him. I didn’t feel special anymore. I became the “hidden child” in the household. I physically and emotionally lost my dad. I couldn’t talk about him; I couldn’t mourn him. It was like he didn’t exist. But he was still very much at the center of our world, because we had to deal with what he did. His actions dictated everything in our lives at that time.
Clinical Implications
We propose that, in addition to caring for victims of primary abuse, practitioners must also work with indirect victims of disenfranchised trauma and their families. A therapeutic framework would include advocacy, assistance, acknowledgment, and validation. Application of these concepts may help foster a trusting and safe environment in the care of all who have been impacted by the experience of trauma.
Advocacy and Assistance
Advocates should be aware that, beyond the care of the primary victim of trauma, other affected family members will likely need supportive measures that should include, but not be limited to, attention to their individual needs, opportunities for therapy, support and intervention, and information. It is often the case that siblings tend to serve as support systems for one another. Such sibling support is likely to continue and heighten after a trauma has been revealed.
In general, siblings are kept out of the circle of immediate care and support. The needs of siblings, who are exposed to the direct trauma of their family member, tend to be overlooked. Supportive assistance may involve helping the secondary victims to weave their experience of trauma into a cohesive story that encompasses their lived experience. The therapeutic goal is to establish a trusting, healing relationship in which transparency, honesty, and openness between the secondary victim and caring adults are encouraged. “The therapeutic relationship is the soil that enables the techniques to take root” (Lazarus, 2016). Such encouragement will contribute to the positive development of a strong therapeutic alliance and strengthened family bonds, which both serve as important protective factors for the child (Firestone, 2016).
In recent years, research has shifted from identifying what puts children at risk for abuse and neglect to understanding what keeps them safe. Protective factors are conditions or attributes of individuals, families, communities, and the larger society that mitigate risk and promote the healthy development and well-being of children, youth, and families (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2020). These protective factors can help children incorporate an understanding of the abuse into a trauma narrative. One of the most important factors in developing resiliency is the protective factor of having at least one stable adult (ideally a parent) in the child’s life. Connecting to other adults is also important, whether they are relatives, teachers, family friends, counselors, or social workers.
Acknowledgment and Validation
There are a wide variety of possible responses to be aware of when working with indirect victims of sexual abuse. Care for siblings who are secondary or indirect victims of sexual abuse should include attention to emotional reactions that may include anger, anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, and confusion. Those who have experienced secondary trauma may also struggle with disbelief, concern for the perpetrator, feelings of responsibility, and minimization of the abusive incidents.
Additionally, if there is an emotional attachment to a close relative who is identified as the sibling’s abuser, such as a father/mother, brother/sister, or grandfather/grandmother, the child dealing with secondary trauma may be confused about whether to support the victim or the perpetrator (“Immediate effects on siblings,” n.d.).
As is the case with disenfranchised grief, trauma that is the result of sexual abuse may go unacknowledged, unvalidated, and/or unsupported. Both direct victims and secondary victims of trauma may experience numerous changes and losses. Clinicians and advocates should encourage a child’s acknowledgment of any changes in the family’s structure and dynamics. Likewise, the family should be encouraged to acknowledge and validate each family member’s needs resulting from the trauma.
Disclosure to children of information about a trauma should be trauma-informed, age appropriate, and should occur in a time frame that is as close to the discovery as possible. Early disclosure provides concrete information to the child, which serves to facilitate the child’s ability to build a narrative that is based on facts rather than on an imagined storyline in which the child seeks to “fill in the blanks.” The initiation of a healing process that is based on a false narrative may further confuse and delay a healing process.
Conclusion
It is not just the direct victim of the abuse who experiences the trauma. We need to acknowledge the others who are impacted to minimize the effects of disenfranchised trauma. This is done through acknowledgment, validation, and support of all the affected parties. When secondary trauma is acknowledged and validated, a child’s experience can be supported, and the process of healing can begin. It is important to provide traumatized children with the space and time to process their feelings in safe, supported, and age-appropriate ways without making them feel the need to worry about other family members.
References
Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2020). Protective factors approaches in child welfare. Children’s Bureau: An Office of the Administration for Children and Families [Brochure]. https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/protective_factors.pdf
Corr, C. (1998). Enhancing the concept of disenfranchised grief. Omega, 38(1), 1-20.
Doka, K. (Ed.). (2002). Disenfranchised grief: New directions, challenges, and strategies for practice. Research Press.
Firestone, L. (22 December, 2016). The importance of the relationship in therapy: A strong therapeutic alliance can lead to real change. [Blog Post]. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201612/the-importance-the-relationship-in-therapy
Hall, M., & Hall, S. (2017). Managing the psychological impact of medical trauma: A guide for mental health and health care professionals. Spring Publishing Company.
Immediate effects on siblings (n.d.). https://www.mosac.net/page/40/
Lazarus, C. (13 March, 2016). And the three best therapy methods are...[Blog Post]. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-well/201603/and-the-three-best-therapy-methods-are/
Rife, S. C. (2009). Sexual assault, perceived stigma, and Christian fundamentalism: Understanding support seeking among victims. Electronic Theses and Dissertations. Paper 1886. https://dc.etsu.edu/etd/1886
Schmidt, M. (2015). Treating non-offending caregivers with a history of childhood sexual abuse and their sexually victimized children: a case study using object relations theory and trauma theory. (Unpublished master’s thesis). Smith College, Northampton, MA.
Lisa S. Zoll, LCSW, is the founder and owner of Grief Relief, LLC, and specializes in helping individuals challenged by loss and grief. Lisa holds a master’s degree in social work with a clinical concentration from Temple University and was a full-time instructor in the MSW program at Temple University Harrisburg.
Leslie Davila, MS, has a master’s degree in criminal justice from Saint Joseph's University and a Bachelor of Arts in sociology and criminal justice from La Salle University. Appointed Director of the Office for Child and Youth Protection (OCYP) of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia in 2011, she oversees the Archdiocesan commitment to protect children and young people and its efforts toward healing and reconciliation for those who were sexually abused as minors.