Self-Care A-Z: Buzzwords, Bon-Bons, Bubble Baths, and Binge-Watching - In Praise of B-“Bad” Self-Care

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Bubble Bath

by Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals 

     Bon-bons, bubble baths, and binge-watching: These are a few of my favorite things. There’s a lot of criticism of superficial, “B”-Bad self-care.  

     I’ve participated (and will continue) in the necessary critique of superficial self-care. I advocate A-plus self-care! But, today, I’m here to praise “B”-level self-care, not to bury or bash it.

First, the Buzz

     Some dismiss self-care as a buzzword. But, there’s usually a reason for a buzz. Because it’s a buzzword, there’s a…well, BUZZ! And, a buzz creates much needed attention.

     “Catchphrase” is a synonym for buzzword. Self-care, as a buzz-word, catches our attention. Certainly, that attention needs to be amplified, deepened, and developed. But the buzz, i.e., the initial attention, is part of the process/movement.

     I remember, years ago, when I began seriously promoting self-care as professional practice. I’m grateful for the buzz—as compared with the largely dismissive responses to those early efforts.

“B” Guilty Pleasures 

     Superficial “B”-level self-care could be categorized as “guilty pleasures.”  However, the problem is not the pleasure; it’s the guilt associated. I gave up guilt for Lent and never picked it back up. Wink! (In the Christian tradition, Lent is a time to abstain from something, such as bon-bons.)

     So, give up the guilt!  Soak in the bubble-bath. Savor the bon-bon. Get the most out of “B” self-care, rather than seeing it as a superficial “guilt.”  

The Benefits of “B”-ing

     If we only eat bon-bons, we’ll have serious health consequences. And, no matter how much we may want at times, we cannot live in a bubble (bath) forever. However, having those “B” strategies helps us bring our “A” game.

     In the course of my career, I’ve worked in some toxic environments. “B”-level self-care became superficial-essentials. A lavender-scented bath promoted sleep, which fortified me to navigate dysfunction more clearly the next day. Commitment to monthly massages (along with walking and yoga) has corrected back issues from stress and sedentary work. Now, I consider monthly massages as important as other medical appointments. “Superficial” self-care helps me have the clarity, compassion, and stamina to deepen my self-care. 

“Queen B,” Buzz ON!

     Ironically, some critique of superficial self-care is, shall I say: Superficial. To (poorly) paraphrase an old adage, it throws out benefits of the bathwater along with the critique. B-level is often an entry point for more wholistic self-care. If I can’t allow myself a simple bubble bath or buy myself fresh flowers, I’m less likely to schedule a delayed medical appointment, set that crucial boundary, invest in professional development, allow myself the sleep necessary to function, ask for that raise, have clarity in my decisions, seek supervision, engage in therapy. After all, these “B”s are elements for the essence of self-care, the most important B: Breath!

     So, tomorrow, you’ll bring your “A” game. But, first—and actually after, as a treat for “B”ing A-“BadAss”—eat the bon-bon, take a bubble bath, binge away. “B”-good at Bad self-care! 

     Today, declare yourself the Queen/King/Non-Binary Royalty of “B”s and Buzz on, my friend, Buzz ON! (#selfcaremovement)

Peace, Love, & Self-Care,

Erlene

Dr. Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC.  This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals.  As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!