Woman with crutches
by Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
Several weeks ago, I had what SARK calls a “wake-up fall.” * Her insights helped some things fall into place (wink!) about self-care.
Seasons of Life Include Falls
For summer of self-care, my partner and I took a week-long car trip, ending in New Orleans for a conference. One day, we stopped to walk in a forest. Because of earlier torrential rains, a rustic wooden bridge was covered with wet leaves. Crossing this unexpectedly slick surface, I fell hard.
This fall resulted in leg injuries that involved weeks-long recovery. This “wake-up fall” also brought the opportunity to reflect on self-care when obstacles arise…or fall, in this case.
Pride Goeth After a Fall
I pride myself on being healthy and helpful. Ah, pride goeth after the fall.
Walking is my main exercise/exorcise for fitness and stress-release. So, along with pain, without this outlet, I felt creaky, cranky, and un-healthy. Also, I felt frustrated with my limitations. I had to ask for help and give myself permission to not feel bad about not doing some things for others.
Also, I thought I could treat my injury. After several days, I realized I needed professional help and went for physical therapy. Using resources and asking for help: self-care!
How Do I Get to Gratitude? Practice, Practice, Practice
This recovery included miserable moments in my limitations, the “What’s NOT.” Fortunately, as part of self-care, I’ve developed the discipline of practicing gratitude. So, I intentionally identified “What IS.” First, I was grateful the injury wasn’t worse and that my partner didn’t tumble after me.
Arriving at the conference, I was grateful for the comfortable room, where I sequestered the first day for RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation). I was glad we were staying at the conference hotel, so I was able to participate and present. For our return trip, I was grateful we were in the car, rather than flying.
Arriving home, I realized that, because of mobility limitations, I had more time to read. I was grateful for my support network (especially my patient partner), resources for health care, and many other aspects. Also, I identified physical things I could do. For instance, although I couldn’t do a full yoga routine, I could do some stretches. And, I was grateful for progress.
Sometimes the Fall Is the Path
Have you had a “wake-up fall”? Maybe not a literal fall. And, perhaps, it wasn’t even a tumble—maybe just a stumble, fumble, or rumble. Maybe it involves a professional responsibility, health crisis, personal disappointment, or other challenge? These “falls” can become obstacles in self-care.
As SARK says, "the adage, 'Everything happens for a reason' rather annoys me.” I don’t think the Universe caused this fall, in order to “wake me.” However, I do think we can find meaning in our “falls.”
We all fall. Make it part of self-care, not just an obstacle. Don’t let the falls keep us down. Use them to wake us up and move us forward on our self-care path.
Peace, Love, & Self-Care,
Erlene
*If you don’t know SARK, check her out. I’ve been following her exuberant work for decades. She’s like Oprah Winfrey and Brene Brown’s artsy, playful sister in my self-care supports.
Dr. Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!