Hearts
by Ben Barrett, LLMSW
The upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday is a good time to give attention to relationships, including with ourselves!
Awkward!
I confess: My relationship with self-care is sometimes horrible. Burnout creeps up on me, seemingly out of nowhere, and sacks me down to a crumpled mess. After a good pep talk about finally taking care of myself, I muster myself back into the work. This awkward relationship between self-care and burnout for social workers is all too real.
Daily, we see horrendous situations in which some clients live. This profession isn’t for everyone; we entered it to put our hearts into changing others’ lives, positively. However, this drive is also our Achilles’ heel. We work until nothing is left, neglecting those self-care tips we so often tell clients.
It doesn’t have to be this way!
How do we break this cycle? Self-care requires reflection. So, after much reflection and testing, here’s how I change this pattern. Simply defined yet, admittedly, difficult to implement: Create self-love and optimism!
Mind Our Hearts
Optimism doesn’t arise from nothing. We can find ourselves quite jaded. However, these polarized thoughts can become harmonized. Here’s how I improve my attitude and outlook tremendously.
Use mindfulness skills. Be in the moment with each client. Allow yourself to experience your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. As you become aware of them, try not to give them a label of good or bad. Simply use your heart to accept.
The purpose of mindfulness is not just to ease your emotions. It’s also to help you catch a developing negative outlook. When your mind begins to spiral into a jaded place, mindfulness allows you to see beyond frustrations and focus on helping your client and allowing for your own human-ness.
Absolutely, at times you cannot catch yourself from spiraling. Once you realize the negative is creeping in, you can change your thoughts. Encourage yourself to see any positive within your purview.
Repetition is a defense to ingrained negativity. As social workers, we are not immune to the issues that clients experience. We certainly aren’t above utilizing the skills we encourage them to use.
Relationships Require Investment, Intention, and Compassion
This awkward relationship between self-care and burnout for social workers doesn’t have to be the norm. We can stop it by investing in relationship with ourselves. Self-care is not just elaborate getaways, hobbies, or nights out—although those can be part of your self-care plan. Self-care can be as simple as making healthy choices and setting positive intentions throughout each day.
Purposefulness is a social worker’s lifeblood. It is the same mantra we tell those we serve: You cannot take care of others, if you aren’t caring for yourself. You cannot sustain a practice of care and compassion for others, unless you do so for yourself. Re-minder: the heart of self-care is self-compassion.
From one social worker’s heart to another, let’s commit to loving ourselves—even if doing so is sometimes awkward and always imperfect.
Ben Barrett
Ben Barrett
Ben Barrett, LLMSW, works as a clinical supervisor for a Community Mental Health agency and blogs about mental health and wellness. He has overcome quite significant mental health issues himself and uses his blog, thehowtosocialworker.com, to promote skill development and awareness for professionals and those who have experienced similar difficulties.