Photo (c) The Wellness Group
What R Essential Aspects of Self Care
by Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
After studying, promoting, and practicing self-care for more than a decade, I think five ingredients “R” essential for effective self-care. These “R”s promote sustainable self-care with exponentially positive cumulative effects.
Reframing
Successful self-care requires reframing. By reframing, I mean assigning a different meaning or changing one’s perspective. The meaning we attach to something significantly affects our attitudes toward and experience with it.
The first reframing is to reconceptualize self-care, itself. Self-care must be reframed as essential, not extra. It must be redefined as a wholistic lifestyle—not simply activities done after work/other commitments, to escape, or as an emergency response to burnout.
Part of this reframing includes understanding that self-care is often a struggle. Also, redefining self-care as necessary means that self-care merits serious consideration and is not denigrated as superfluous fluff. Notably, self-care, organizational accountability, and community care must be reframed as inter-related, not conflictual or contradictory.
Reframing is useful in more specific ways, such as in reframing one’s perspective through gratitude. Practicing gratitude has profound effects on one’s well-being, including during challenging circumstances. In general, the skill of reframing is valuable in navigating complex circumstances, relationships, and contexts.
How can you reframe self-care? What specific strategies can you incorporate to reframe self-care as a wholistic lifestyle?
Reflection
Reframing goes hand-in-hand with reflection. Effective self-care must be intentional, which requires both deliberate actions and dedicated reflection. We tend to jump right into “doing” self-care. But, reflection is crucial.
We must reflect on myriad facets. First, self-awareness is necessary. Learning about oneself—values, characteristics, dreams, concerns, and so forth—is integral to learning how to practice self-care. Pragmatically, this reflective self-knowledge informs more realistic, meaningful, and effective self-care strategies.
Similarly, reflection must engage contextual considerations such as personal, familial, historical, and structural dynamics—including oppression, trauma, resilience, and growth. Understanding macro factors, such as organizational dysfunction and cultural forces, is part of this reflection. For instance, navigating insidious oppression and toxic environments certainly impedes self-care. Acknowledging these stressors and identifying coping strategies, individually and collectively, require critical reflection.
Sequestered solitary time is necessary for meaningful reflection. But, also, reflection can engage others. Working with a therapist or coach and/or supervisor are avenues for deepening reflection. Individual and community reflection can be mutually rewarding. Finally, reflection can be supported by resources, such as readings, music, other media, nature walks, and journaling.
How can you structure more reflection? What resources might you use to foster reflection?
Routine
Much of our well-being is affected significantly by daily routine. Critically considering one’s routine, through a well-being lens, is key. Ultimately, self-care should be integrated into every aspect of life. Don’t wait for a magical future or quick-fix self-care. Consider what you do daily/routinely.
This attention to routine includes assessing current habits and pursuing self-care habits. Incorporating meaningful and helpful rituals can support well-being. For example, simple rituals and habits, like making the bed and keeping a gratitude list, have exponential effects over time. Integrating mindfulness practices routinely is an important self-care approach.
Evaluate your routine. What habits and rituals support and impede your self-care? What could you more intentionally change?
Rest
The next self-care “R” is embedded in routine. Research and anecdotal wisdom support that rest is a linchpin in well-being.
Along with sleep, rest includes pause, leisure, relaxation, play, creativity, and so forth. Rest affects our immunity, energy, and mood. As such, it interacts with other anchors of self-care, i.e., movement, diet, and connection/relationships. Rest impacts productivity, health, coping, and other aspects of well-being.
Certainly, rest as self-care includes improving sleep quality. Also, rest encompasses taking breaks, accessing time off, doing nothing, engaging in play/creativity, meditating, and simply pausing to breathe. Like all self-care, rest merits serious consideration and can be incorporated through even small steps.
Consider ways to incorporate rest. What steps can you take to improve your rest?
Relationships
The final “R” is relationships. Two key, complementary words apply: Connections and Boundaries. Much discontent and dysfunction stems from unhealthy disconnection and inadequate boundaries.
The first relationship—and often most neglected—is one’s connection to self. Ubiquitous cultural messages, especially in helping professions, promote self-lessness. Self-care is dismissed as selfish. And, we barely know ourselves, much less how to care for oneself. No wonder establishing healthy boundaries becomes so challenging.
Having a connection to oneself requires attention to all the above “R”s. This self-relationship intersects with myriad relationships. Self-care involves (re)connecting with people, places, planet, and purpose in ways that promote both self-care and collective care.
Consider your relationships, starting with self. How can you strengthen healthy connections and boundaries for better self-care?
These five self-care aspects “R” universal. At the same time, self-care must be individualized to fit one’s values and circumstances. This blog forum explores these “R”s and other self-care topics. I invite you to delve into previous posts and contribute to this ongoing discussion.
Peace, Love, & Self-Care,
Erlene
Dr. Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!