BigStockPhoto/ Leonard Zhukovsky
Simone Biles
Olympic champion Simone Biles of the United States at Rio 2016 Olympic Games.
by Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
I don’t know much about gymnastics. But, I know a lot about self-care, and I recognize a champion when I see one. In extricating herself from Olympics competition, Simone Biles offers a self-care exemplar. Although exceptional in its high profile, we all can emulate her example. Here are four ways we can follow Ms. Biles’ championship model in our self-care.
Prioritize Self-Awareness
We cannot fully care for someone we don’t know.
In her interviews and actions, it’s evident that Ms. Biles does the disciplined work to excel at her sport. It’s also evident that she’s doing the work required to know herself. This self-awareness is necessary to attend to her self.
Do you really know yourself? How well do you know your needs, wants, strengths, and values? Our socialization, including a desire to please others, often means that we lack clarity about even basics of who we are—aside from ascribed roles, such as mother, helper, athlete, and so forth. Self-awareness is foundational in self-care.
Get to know yourself in order to care for yourself.
Promote Integrated Well-Being
Self-care is wholistic, because humans are integrated beings.
Ms. Biles understands that her physical prowess is inextricably linked with her mind and spirit. One writer stated that Ms. Biles removed herself from competition because she “didn’t trust her mind and body.” I disagree with this interpretation. Actually, Ms. Biles extricated herself because she does trust her mind and body. Her mind was letting her know that she was not in a head-space to attempt such demanding athletic feats and, thus, risked serious bodily injury.
For many of us, our work requires strenuous mental engagement, which can have serious ramifications for our mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. This professional stress is often compounded with similar stressors in our personal lives. In an integrated fashion, our bodies often bear the brunt of the messages that our minds and spirits have tried to convey. The goal of self-care is integrated well-being.
Mental health is health. Mind, body, and spirit are interconnected.
Manage Outer Expectations
Not everybody’s going to like you.
Perhaps one of the greatest self-care commitments that Ms. Biles models is managing outer expectations. The “eyes of the world” were upon her; the pressure was tremendous. In addition, as a Black woman, she traverses myriad expectations embedded in racism and sexism, such as the “strong Black woman” trope. As became painfully evident, some people didn’t like her setting boundaries and prioritizing her own well-being. However, she did not acquiesce to them. Notably, Ms. Biles stayed in the arena alongside her team. She still supported them and did not isolate herself from their mutual support. They celebrated.
In professional and personal arenas, when we reject oppressive expectations, set healthy boundaries, and claim our worth, some people are not going to like it. Simple as that. Self-care involves knowing who those people are, but not bowing to their expectations. Likewise, self-care involves knowing who will support you, especially when you prioritize self-care. And, celebrate it.
Not everybody’s going to like you. Good. That likely means you’re taking care of yourself.
Balance Importance & Humility
You are not THAT important.
Ms. Biles had to assess the important commitment as an Olympic athlete with the humility of being human. In some ways, Ms. Biles’ self-care commitment was straightforward. Her balance beam is literally narrow; if she did not assert herself, injury could be imminent.
For most of us, the invisible “balance beam” in our lives may seem broad and, thus, more negotiable. Taking on one more client, agreeing to one more responsibility, ignoring one more stress signal, canceling one more health commitment—the balance beam is whittled down slowly and inexorably. Our need complex demands that we’re so important we can and must do it all—even at the risk of self-harm. Our responsibilities and roles are often super-important, but we are not super-human.
If fulfilling important demands means the risk of falling off the balance beam, you are NOT THAT important. But, your self-care is.
We can’t be the Greatest of All Time (GOAT) in gymnastics, like Simone Biles. But, we can all be like her, as champions of self-care. Ask yourself: What would Simone (NOT) do?
Peace, Love, & Self-Care, Erlene
Dr. Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!